In Support of Carmen & Crew

Hey there— thanks for clicking our link. 

You’re probably here because you know us personally or know someone who does. If we’ve made it further into the communities we are part of (medically complex, neurodivergent, LGBTQIA+, families with gender diverse kids), or beyond, welcome just the same. For those who don’t know us, I’m going to attempt a quick run down  of who we are and how we ended up on “this side of things”. If “the why” isn’t what you’re here, feel free to skip ahead, click around, help if you can, and share our link either way. 

The tiny humans in the photo are Ryan & Eleanor; they are both 9 and heading to 4th grade in August. No, they’re not twins, they’re 5 months apart. Eleanor is the older of the two (& the taller one!) and was 10 months old in 2017 when a 5 month old Ryan crashed into my heart like the koolaid man. Ryan is a tiny fighter who was born with multiple heart defects, a cleft palate, and his body was giving up from lack of care/nourishment when I picked him up from his last night in an awful situation. He was admitted to Children’s Hospital almost immediately, stabilized as I learned to support his medical needs, and then released just in time for his first Halloween. Eleanor, ever the competitor, jumped on the “non-verbal kid with a gtube” train within the next year and recently added celiac disease to her list of diagnoses. Managing their care has been a life (& marital status) changing commitment/amount of work. They are both big talkers now and would love to tell you all about Minecraft/Animals/Science (Eleanor) or Minecraft/Soccer/cool cars (Ryan). 

No home would be complete without teenagers and ours has two. Ridley is 16, soft spoken, empathetic, enjoys video games and is often right beside Eleanor as she shows off her latest build or asks for help. 

I guess that just leaves me. I’m Carmen / Mom / Bruh, “Figure it Out-er of All Things” and would-be winner of Bathroom Crying Championships if such a thing existed. I’ve been carrying the title of single mom since 2022. We’ve been through a lot in the past 4 years, but this latest blow has me at rock bottom.

In December 2025, my world fell apart a week before Christmas when we lost our housing unexpectedly which was followed by the insurance authorization that allowed me to be employed  as a personal care aid for Eleanor & Ryan ending. At the same time, financial support from my co-parent stopped being paid. It was the perfect storm and I’m still fighting the fallout 8 months later. 

 Through a literal miracle, we moved into our current house in the middle of an ice storm at the end of January. It needs a lot of work and it’s taken a lot of work already, but the tiny humans were able to stay in their same school and with their challenges, that was major. I’ve been battling severe mental health challenges due to that housing loss compounded by the financial stress of losing my job and support at the same time. I’ve been overwhelmed and have isolated myself while treading water and still drowning. I’ve been working with a home care agency to get employment back, but the wheels turned much slower than they should have and Medicaid terminated the waivers that Eleanor and Ryan had  “due to lack of use” (of the personal care hours). Essentially, I hadn’t been able to work the hours (as their caretaker) and just as things were being processed for me to resume that work, Medicaid cut their access. I’ve now been told that this won’t be cleared up until the end of September/early October in the best case scenario. That broke me. We won’t make it that long. I applied for child care assistance, but there are wait lists and there’s not actually care locally for 2 medically complex/tube fed 9 year olds. I have been selling things (we lost a LOT of belongings in the move), doing gig work and such, but it’s to the point where I’m breaking down and am forcing myself to reach out. I’m working with 2 social workers, a local foundation, and I’ve applied for various forms of help, but the wheels are slow, funds are exhausted/there are backlogs and wait lists, and there’s been a lot of dead ends. 

I’m aiming high and trying to secure 3 months of “no matter what” financial stability to bridge the gap and help me get out of “fight or flight” for my own health and safety as well as the kids’. It’s a big ask, I know. I’m willing to “earn” it if you’d rather pay me for childcare or cleaning or anything else I’m equipped to do. If I do eventually receive outside help via grants or charities, that will be reflected and subtracted from the $6k goal. 

My biggest ask is help with rent. The fear of losing the only housing option I have terrifies me. I don’t have the credit, savings, or income to qualify for even the smallest apartment if anything jeopardizes this housing. That knowledge paralyzes me. The teens and I haven’t even fully unpacked & I know it’s partially that fear/trauma causing it. If you’d like to contribute to our rent and prefer to send it directly to my landlord, I can give you her payment/contact info. 

I will add our other needs in the appropriate areas and you can always reach out to me directly if you have any questions/suggestions.