Friday was another rough day with not great news.  They were giving him fluids before his chemo when I noticed his liver numbrs were extremely high.  I asked the nurse giving the medicine and she was shocked to see them so high and was wondering why they were proceeding with treatment. They reached out to our nurse, who reached out to our doctor (they hadn't seen his most recent bloodwork) and they were considering not doing the new chemo yesterday.

If you remember, last week his specific cancer numbers we are watching went up.  So he is not eligble for transplant right now until we can get those numbers down again. He startd a new chemo last week to help get those numbers down again. 

After some discussion, they decided to go forward with the chemo yesterday but really watch him this week.  If the numbers even go up by one point, then next Friday, they will take him off the new chemo as to not cause more problems to his liver.  

The one thing Todd had going for him was his organs were doing well but they are all starting to struggle.  

If they take him off the chemo and he is not eligble for his bone marrow transplant....well we reassess but they have already kind of talked to us about what's next.

This next week is crucial for our family, for Todd,.  If you could please pray for him.  Pray that his liver can detox and the numbers can come down, his cancer numbers can come down and that he will be eligble for transplant, we would greately appreciatae it.  Many of us are fasting tomorrow, specifically for him, if you would also like to join us. We would love it.  There is power in prayers and fasting!

It's all a little heavy right now and maybe I won't share so much in the future.  But, right now, we need the prayers.  I know things will work out the way they are supposed to.  I know that God is in control and in the details.  I know that everything is working out for our good.  I also know that we have been inspired over and over of what to do for Todd, to help him, guide him and we don't take that lightly.  God speaks to us personally. But, I also know that at the end of the day, I am not in control and that can sometimes be hard.  But, I know those prayers can work miracles and whatever those miracles are they come in many ways.  They have come to our family in peace, in guidance, in lifting us up, in comforting the kids, in angels knocking on our door, in financial help, in grants, in healing our hearts....those prayers work in so many ways.  I know when we pray, do our part and let go....God takes over..  

Ernest Hemingway once wrote: The hardest lesson I have had to learn as an adult is the relentless need to keep going, no matter how broken I feel inside.

This truth is raw, unfiltered, and painfully universal. Life doesn’t stop when we are exhausted, when our hearts are shattered, or when our spirits feel threadbare. It keeps moving—unyielding, indifferent—demanding that we keep pace. There is no pause button for grief, no intermission for healing, no moment where the world gently steps aside and allows us to mend. Life expects us to carry our burdens in silence, to push forward despite the weight of all we carry inside.

The cruelest part? No one really prepares us for this. As children, we are fed stories of resilience wrapped in neat, hopeful endings—tales where pain has purpose and every storm clears to reveal a bright horizon. But adulthood strips away those comforting illusions. It teaches us that survival is rarely poetic. More often than not, it’s about showing up when you’d rather disappear, smiling through pain no one sees, and carrying on despite feeling like you're unraveling from the inside out.

And yet, somehow, we persevere. That’s the quiet miracle of being human. Even when life is relentless, even when hope feels distant, we keep moving. We stumble, we break, we fall to our knees—but we get up. And in doing so, we uncover a strength we never knew we had. We learn to comfort ourselves in the ways we wish others would. We become the voice of reassurance we once searched for. Slowly, we realize that resilience isn’t always about grand acts of bravery; sometimes, it’s just a whisper—“Keep going.”

Yes, it’s exhausting. Yes, it’s unfair. And yes, there are days when the weight of it all feels unbearable. But every small step forward is proof that we haven’t given up. That we are still fighting, still holding on, still refusing to let the darkness consume us. That quiet defiance—choosing to exist, to try, to hope—is the bravest thing we can do."

So we keep moving forward.  We are so hopeful for good things this next week.  We know this is a moment where it feels a little hard right now...but miracles happen...daily.  We have witnessed them personally.  We believe in them, we feel them and we KNOW they will continue to happen for us, in whatever form that God wants them to come.  

Thank you again for your love and prayers!!