Packing for camp. Preparing for chemo. Getting ready for college.

It's strange how the reality of our life right now doesn't always hit during doctor's appointments or treatment discussions. Sometimes it hits while standing in a closet with a vacuum cleaner.

Today I was vacuuming the closet where I had pulled out suitcases for the younger kids to go to camp, thinking about how this is our oldest son's last year of high school, while also trying to prepare for Liam's second round of chemo. I am doing what moms do—cleaning the house, washing clothes, washing dishes, scheduling sports, driving to sports, making phone calls, working, and keeping everything moving forward.

Most days, all those responsibilities keep me busy enough that I don't have much time to sit with everything we're carrying right now.

But then there are moments.

A letterman jacket hanging in the closet. A suitcase waiting to be packed. A stack of clothes that needs washing.

And suddenly the reality of it all catches up to me.

One child preparing for his future. Another fighting cancer. Younger siblings still needing all the normal childhood things. Life continuing to move forward while also feeling completely paused at the same time.

It's a lot.

We're grateful. We're hopeful. We're putting one foot in front of the other. But if I'm honest, some days the weight of it all settles in unexpectedly and hits harder than I expect.

Today, it found me in a closet.