The End of Winter Break
In support of
Standing in Faith for Eva
View Support Registry
Standing in Faith for Eva
This break from school and work has been much needed, but the time has come to return to the real world. Before all of the crazy starts back up, Eva and I met a new friend named Lexy, did some organizational shopping, Eva spent Saturday bight with her bestie, so Will and I got to have dinner out and bought a ceiling fan for our room, then we finished the weekend with a spa party with Sawyer, Demi, and Dotttie at Zach’s house.
Tonight I sat down and began to write out the email to Eva’s teachers about what the next few weeks and the spring semester will hold. As I wrote, just like I always do, I poured my heart out on the screen and found that I wrote a sentence that stopped me. I wrote “this is the lowest we have ever been, the failure of a chemo regimen is truly devastating.” That is the rawest truth I can give. We are devastated, BUT as with all truly depressing times, we can’t just sit and cry, we have to keep going. My brother always tells a story of when he went away and how in the depths of darkness with nothing but himself and a bible, he finally hit his knees and realized that he was at the absolute bottom and so he had to start looking up. Reading Job, learning to pray again, and knowing that it was Zach, a Bible, and the Lord. I feel like that has been us recently. I won’t lie, I am ANGRY. ANGRY that the Lord could heal my girl with the snap of his fingers, but he hasn’t. He healed her once, then let the devil’s cancer come into her body again. I have been so angry and so HURT. My GOD keeps telling me his will WILL be done and I am hurt. In the end, I keep thinking of the words of a song my mama sings, “When you get to the place where I am all you have, you’ll find I am all you need.” It seems that I should take a page from my brothers book and realize that right now, in this moment, I have myself, the Bible, and My Jesus and I am desperately praying that even though I feel like I need so much more to make it through this, maybe I have all that I need.
Please pray that insurance gets figured out, we can start all of the therapies that we need on time, and that this cancer is pulled from Eva’s body for good. #evastrong
Tonight I sat down and began to write out the email to Eva’s teachers about what the next few weeks and the spring semester will hold. As I wrote, just like I always do, I poured my heart out on the screen and found that I wrote a sentence that stopped me. I wrote “this is the lowest we have ever been, the failure of a chemo regimen is truly devastating.” That is the rawest truth I can give. We are devastated, BUT as with all truly depressing times, we can’t just sit and cry, we have to keep going. My brother always tells a story of when he went away and how in the depths of darkness with nothing but himself and a bible, he finally hit his knees and realized that he was at the absolute bottom and so he had to start looking up. Reading Job, learning to pray again, and knowing that it was Zach, a Bible, and the Lord. I feel like that has been us recently. I won’t lie, I am ANGRY. ANGRY that the Lord could heal my girl with the snap of his fingers, but he hasn’t. He healed her once, then let the devil’s cancer come into her body again. I have been so angry and so HURT. My GOD keeps telling me his will WILL be done and I am hurt. In the end, I keep thinking of the words of a song my mama sings, “When you get to the place where I am all you have, you’ll find I am all you need.” It seems that I should take a page from my brothers book and realize that right now, in this moment, I have myself, the Bible, and My Jesus and I am desperately praying that even though I feel like I need so much more to make it through this, maybe I have all that I need.
Please pray that insurance gets figured out, we can start all of the therapies that we need on time, and that this cancer is pulled from Eva’s body for good. #evastrong
Comments
Christine Case