Some days on this journey seem like they are going to be so good. Eva and James had their Christmas program this evening and they both did an excellent job. I am so proud to be their mom and then it all fell apart. I asked Eva and James to take some pictures after the program and a nice family evening turned sour so quickly. When we finally got Eva back into the car and ready to go grab some dinner she finally exploded that she doesn’t want her picture taken, don’t we know she has this horrible thing on her face? So then, in horrible mom fashion, I said so we aren’t going to have pictures of you anymore until it goes away? Well… that made us all stop. The team says that they think they can kill the cancer cells, but there is no guarantee that the tumor on her face will disappear and no way that it can be removed surgically, because it is bone. How are we supposed to cherish every minute and never take a photograph? What if the bump never goes away and the rest of her life she lives in this horrible state of feeling disfigured? What if? I get so tied of the what ifs that keep us awake at night and as I got ready to reach out to other parents to ask for advice, I realized I don’t have anyone to go to… That is a harsh reminder of how horrible this disease really is. I ask that you pray for Eva. Pray that her tumor goes away and that she can see how beautiful she truly is. Pray that these emotions can be navigated through as a family and there are not many more explosions like there were tonight. Pray that cancer is eradicated and that we don’t have to worry about fighting this evil disease. Pray hard. Pray unceasingly.