We have tried to enjoy our 3 days away from the hospital. Auntie Mimi/my sister Meghan came out again on Friday night which was a welcome distraction and breath of fresh air. We ventured to the beautiful Japanese Garden in Portland, and Ronan did an impressive amount of walking. We did not, to Jack and Ronan's disappointment, catch any frogs. We did enjoy getting out for a bit. We have also ventured to the waterfront right near the building we're staying in, and to nearby parks. Ronan even requested a trip to the frozen yogurt place near the airport on Wednesday, which was a favorite thing to do up here for him before all of this. He loves being able to sit outside and watch the airplanes. 

As wonderful as it has been to have the RMH as a landing place, we are all anxious to go home. I'm nervous to be further away from the hospital but it's been a month since me and Ronan came to the emergency room tomorrow, so it feels like a long time. We are hoping later this week we can all go home together. By then, we should also know the results of tomorrow's bone marrow aspiration and have a clear plan for what comes next. Hopefully, Ronan's body will hold on to its magnesium better this week, and begin to better regenerate healthy blood cells of its own again. These are all the things we will be watching before we are given the all clear to go home. 

We are all looking forward to Ronan finishing this course of steroids. He has been feeling their full affect for a while now. He's been extra emotional, constantly hungry, and dealing with the high blood sugars and insulin. We are hopeful the need for that will go away when we stop the med. Before then, we have to get through a tough morning tomorrow of no food before the bone marrow aspiration. He has the puffy cheeks that go along with steroids now, and thanks to the big appetite and improving nausea, I think, has managed to add a little weight to his tiny frame. He continues to lose little bits of hair and so far just wants to let it fall out rather than do anything else. He has also informed me that he doesn't want me to shave my head, that it should be a boy thing, so we will see. 

Bryce's parents, my mom and some helpers also continue to work on projects around our house. It started with new flooring in the boys' room for improving health in there. Then it included fixing up the boys' bathroom to make it more user friendly. Then I heard our bathroom and maybe even bedroom is being painted? I also ordered Ronan a new bed as I'm not sure he'll be able to navigate a bunk safely for a bit. So, I'm not entirely sure what to expect when we get home, but I'm sure it will all be a welcome improvement. We've given them the green light to do what they want to. I have no bandwidth for picking paint, etc. We are appreciative of all their love and energy. The three of them have been here almost from the day we got our diagnosis, and have basically an open ended plan to stay and help as much as needed. I'm not sure what we'd do without them.

We also continue to receive a wealth of gifts and packages and thoughtful comments, notes, texts, meals, donations, etc. I've also seen several people donate blood in Ronan's honor. We so appreciate all of it. If we haven't reached out personally, please know we are thankful. It feels like a lot of waiting around, and it also feels constantly busy if that makes any sense. My sister, Kelsea is actively working on some more Team Ronan style t-shirts, stickers, and some specially requested hats. My great aunt also sent some Team Ronan shirts for us all to wear. We love it all, and I think Ronan likes the idea of having a team behind him, though he is quiet with many of his thoughts these days.

I am trying hard to distract my brain from all my worries going into this week. Bryce is so positive. He's positive that things will be okay, that even if Ronan isn't in technical remission this week, and he's classified as high risk, we will still be okay and he will still get through this. He is so positive and I have always been a positive person too. I'm trying to embody that. It is hard not to let the worries gnaw at me. I am trying to focus on one day at a time, one step forward, one foot in front of the other. My feet feel like they are moving through wet concrete but that's the goal for now. 

It is true that Ronan is so unbelievably tough. We were both near tears watching him at the Japanese Garden. He climbed so many stairs and walked so far. He IS going to get through this. It's hard but he takes every med and every poke and every hard thing he's thrown. Jack is so tough too. This has been hard on him, and he worries. They both made a wish on the Wish Tree here at RMH. Ronan, comically, wished for a pet turtle, haha. Never mind that the turtle he wants can live for 80 years! He said that just means they'd spend their whole lives together. Jack of course, wished for Ronan to be better. Then Jack wanted to move a wish so he could place his next to Ronan's. Jack's light and love for all of us is contagious and we're thankful for his big smiles and tight hugs, even when it tends to come with wild energy and a sassy attitude. These boys are our world. I'm thankful they have each other in this too. 

Healing hearts and wishes and prayers and hope for Ronan please. I will share about results when I can.