The Exhaustion Nobody Really Warned Me About

One of the most surprising things about living with cancer so far has been the absolutely CRUSHING fatigue. And I haven't even started immunotherapy yet.

I've lived with rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, and other chronic illnesses for years, so I thought I knew what exhaustion felt like. But this is something else entirely. I'm sleeping in three- or four-hour stretches, sometimes several times a day, and still having random 20- to 30-minute crashes where my whole body just shuts down. It's not ordinary tiredness. It's an overwhelming, eye-closing, whole-body exhaustion that I can't seem to fight through.

It's frustrating because I still want to do all the things I normally do. Spend time with Anwyn, keep up with the house, make meals, take care of everyday responsibilities, and just enjoy being alive. But right now, even the simplest things can take more energy than I have available.

This has been one of the hardest adjustments so far, realizing that I can't always predict when I'll have the energy to do something, or when my body is simply going to demand that I stop.

I'm learning to rest when I need to, but it also means we're having to adjust how we manage everyday life. Practical help, meals, groceries, and assistance with errands can make an enormous difference when so much of my energy is going toward just getting through the day.

Cancer affects so much more than the parts people can see. And sometimes, one of the hardest parts is simply trying to stay awake long enough to enjoy your own life. 💜