I just feel like this shouldn't be real

Today, something happened that I never imagined I would ever have to experience as a mother.
A hospital bed was delivered to our home for Christian.
I know it’s just a bed. I know it’s equipment meant to keep him comfortable and make caring for him a little easier. But walking into his room after the delivery guy set everything up and left, I couldn’t help but break down.
No parent should ever have to bring hospice into their home for their child. No mother should have to learn how to care for her 22-year-old son as he fights for his life, knowing that we’ve been told that no matter what, the cancer will eventually take him from us. This is not how things were supposed to be.
I’m so grateful for everything hospice, the hospital, his doctors, nurses, and EVERYONE has done and continues to do for Christian. But grateful doesn’t make this any less heartbreaking.
I keep looking at my son and wishing I could take all of this from him. I would trade places with him in a heartbeat. I would give anything to make him better—to hear him speak clearly again, to see him walk, laugh, and just be the 22-year-old he should be.
Instead, I’m learning how to take things one moment at a time.
So each day, I’m holding my Christian a little tighter. I’m praying a little harder. And I’m asking God to give Christian comfort, peace, strength, and more time with us.
Please continue to pray for my baby. Please pray for his siblings, Gio and Lina, and for our entire family as we navigate something no family should ever have to face.
No parent should ever have to watch their child go through this. ❤️‍🩹🙏