But God

Last night… 1:00 AM. Christian is finally sleeping peacefully, and I’m laying here in “bed", thinking about everything that has happened this past month.
A month ago, my first baby boy was playing tackle football, running around the backyard with Gio, taking walks to the park with Gio, Lina and Chico… laughing, talking, living his life.
Then he had a seizure and that was just the beginning of our lives changing forever.
Now my 22-year-old son can’t walk without assistance, he can’t shower by himself. And when he tries to speak, most of the time, no one can understand what he’s saying.
My heart hurts in a way I don’t know how to put into words. There is a constant weight sitting on my chest, making it hard to breathe sometimes. I look at my baby and I can’t help but wonder how we went from football and walks to the park to this.
But God. Even in the heartbreak, I am grateful.
I’m grateful that God has given me the opportunity to be right here beside my son. To hold his hand. To care for him. To hear his voice. To make sure he knows, every single second, that he is loved beyond measure.
I don’t know how much time we have. I don’t know if it will be days, weeks, months, or longer. I just know that whatever time God gives us, I will be here.
I will love him, care for him, fight for him, cry with him, pray over him and hold him through every single moment of this journey.
There is no other option.
And when his time here on Earth is finished, I know that Jesus will welcome my first baby boy home and he will be whole again. No pain. No cancer. No weakness. No fear. Just peace.
Please keep my Christian in your prayers. And please keep our family in your prayers as we walk through the hardest thing we have ever faced.
But God. Always, but God. ❤️