One Year Anniversary

Sunday, February 1 will be the one year anniversary of us learning the word glioblastoma. While many people call February the month of love, we call it the month of brain surgery.  Last February 17th Tim had a surgery called LITT (Laser Interstitial Thermal Therapy) on the original tumor and were told that the offshoot that was causing the seizures was too sensitive and inoperable because it was clearly affecting Tim's speech, seizures, etc. The offshoot would be treated with radiation and chemo.  BUT... on February 4 (next Wednesday) Tim will have another brain surgery called a resection on that same offshoot tumor. Confused? Honestly we are too. We will have more info next Tuesday after our pre-op meeting with the surgeon, Dr. Riley, at UAB. This is so out of the blue, but we are encouraged.
After New Years Tim had his monthly appointment with our local oncologist who mentioned that we needed to set up an appointment with Dr. Nabors, head of neuro oncology at UAB who is the one calling the shots for our local oncologists. We haven't seen him since last February.  We weren't really told why, maybe a yearly check up.?.
Last week Tim had his two month MRI and like every two months, it has shown very slow but measurable growth. The next day was our appointment with Dr. Nabors. After looking at the scans he said he was going to send them to neurosurgeon, Dr. Riley, to consider surgery. About 18 hours later we got an answer.  Yes.
What we know so far is that it is "an awake left craniotomy for tumor resection with awake speech mapping". Tim will be awake so that at any time during the surgery that his speech is impaired or he experiences seizures, they can stop or redirect the surgery.
Like me, you are probably thinking 1. being awake while someone cuts into my brain is my worst nightmare and 2. I'd love to hear what Tim Cantey talks about during this surgery.
All joking aside, we are excited that we are given other options, shellshocked from this sudden change of direction, apprehensive with unanswered questions and a little anxious about surgery and recovery. Along with all these emotions we have a peace knowing that the Lord is in complete control. We are steady and strong in our knowledge of the character of God.  This week I have been meditating on Isaiah 43:1b-3a.
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
God doesn't promise that we won't be in scary waters or walk through fire, but He does promise that He will be there with us, they won't overwhelm us or burn us. He is our God, He knows us by name and He tells us not to fear because He has redeemed us.