This update is a little different from the ones I normally share, but it needs to be said with love, but also very clearly to help everyone understand where we are at as a family.
There is an old saying that still holds true: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Recently, Mom and other members of our family have received messages and heard stories about people who have passed away, devastating outcomes, traumatic experiences, statistics, timelines, and other “doom and gloom” surrounding Dad’s diagnosis or completely unrelated ones.
If you have shared something along those lines, or were thinking about doing so, please pause and continue reading this post before sharing.
I know that, in most cases, these things are probably being shared without any intention of causing harm. But right now, they are upsetting. They do not prepare us. They do not comfort us. They do not help us. And they are not something our family needs to carry.
Dad is not a statistic. He is not a prognosis. He is not somebody else’s story.
He is Tom.
He is my mom’s husband.
He is our dad.
He is my children’s Pop.
He is a brother, a friend, and someone deeply loved by so many people.
And most importantly, his story is still being written.
The Bible tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21
So around this family, we are choosing LIFE.
We are speaking healing.
We are speaking hope.
We are speaking strength.
We are speaking miracles.
We are speaking faith over fear.
And we are believing wholeheartedly that God is bigger than any diagnosis, any prognosis, any statistic, and any mountain placed in front of us.
Jesus said, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed… nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20
That is the kind of energy we need surrounding Dad right now.
If you have a story about someone who defied the odds, share it. If you have witnessed God move mountains, tell us about it. If you have a prayer, scripture, testimony, encouragement, or simply some love to send Dad’s way, pour it on us. We will gladly take every bit of it.
And please don't misunderstand this boundary as our family saying that we only want people to pray for us while we aren't willing to pray for others. If you or someone you love is actively walking through something difficult, we absolutely want to pray with you and for you. We will ALWAYS be a family who will continue to lift others up just as so many of you have lifted us up.
What we are asking is that past stories with devastating or traumatic outcomes not be placed on our family right now. If a story ends in tragedy and does not offer hope, peace, encouragement, joy, or something positive for us to hold onto, please consider whether sharing it with a family currently walking through this diagnosis is necessary or helpful.
Those experiences and the grief surrounding them deserve their own space to be processed and supported, whether through your loved ones, church, a prayer group, a mentor, a support group, or a therapist. We can have compassion for what someone else has endured without taking the weight of that experience onto our family while we are fighting our own battle.
If what you are about to share brings fear, discouragement, doom, or gloom, please pause and reroute that information elsewhere.
We are protecting Dad’s peace.
We are protecting Mom’s peace.
We are protecting our family’s peace.
We understand the medical reality in front of us. We don't need reminders of it. What we need are people willing to stand beside us in faith and believe with us for complete healing.
God has already shown up in this journey in ways we cannot explain, and we believe He is not finished.
So please, when you speak to Dad, Mom, or anyone in our family:
Speak life. Speak hope. Speak healing. Speak faith.
And if you cannot do that right now, please pause and find someone outside of our family circle who can hear you, support you, and help you carry what you are feeling. We say that with love and compassion for whatever you may have experienced, while also asking that you respect our need to protect the hope, faith, and peace surrounding Dad and our family right now.
“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1:37
We believe it.
We are standing on it.
And we are moving forward accordingly.
No doom. No gloom. Just faith, hope, love, prayer, and a whole lot of believing. Please respect and honor these healthy boundaries we have put in place! -written by Jenna
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