The death of my best friend.
In support of
The Davis Family
View Support Registry
The Davis Family
It has been an excruciatingly tough three years. Multiple moves, NICU stays, hospital stays, contractor quitting, house broken into, major theft claim, lawsuit; there's never enough time, never enough money, never enough energy. Never enough.
None of this matters.
None of it.
What mattered, what should've mattered most, and what I need to actively remind myself and remember is that it's the people.
My dog was my people.
She was the sweetest puppy, the kindest dog, the best person I know.
My stress, over all of these things that just don't matter, has been consuming me. Dragging me down. Making my already exhausted body house and equally, if not more so, exhausted mind and beat down soul. My sweet dog knew. She felt it. She lived it. Bella was all of the best parts of me for nearly my entire adult life. She taught me so much about myself, about loving someone, caring for them, being responsible for them. Understanding. Grace.
My heart hurts. Aches. Terribly. My head is reeling with what I could have done, what I should have done, anything to have been better. To have done more. Paid more attention. Made space. Time.
But I was consumed with the weight of life. Of things that just simply don't matter. They didn't then but I know it now.
I am sick, quite literally ill, pneumonia of my own to match hers, that I didn't pull myself out of it previously. In time.
But I know that Bella would want me to get up. She'd paw at my arm like she used to, demanding attention. Forcing me to the here and now.
So I will be trying my absolute best to do that for her. For me.
Bring myself to the moment and take action to address the thing keeping me stuck or let it go and get up and move on.
I absolutely hate she had to leave for me to really see it for what it was.
Sticking with me for 14yrs was no small feat and I could never express enough how grateful I am to have had her around.
Love always Bella. ♡
None of this matters.
None of it.
What mattered, what should've mattered most, and what I need to actively remind myself and remember is that it's the people.
My dog was my people.
She was the sweetest puppy, the kindest dog, the best person I know.
My stress, over all of these things that just don't matter, has been consuming me. Dragging me down. Making my already exhausted body house and equally, if not more so, exhausted mind and beat down soul. My sweet dog knew. She felt it. She lived it. Bella was all of the best parts of me for nearly my entire adult life. She taught me so much about myself, about loving someone, caring for them, being responsible for them. Understanding. Grace.
My heart hurts. Aches. Terribly. My head is reeling with what I could have done, what I should have done, anything to have been better. To have done more. Paid more attention. Made space. Time.
But I was consumed with the weight of life. Of things that just simply don't matter. They didn't then but I know it now.
I am sick, quite literally ill, pneumonia of my own to match hers, that I didn't pull myself out of it previously. In time.
But I know that Bella would want me to get up. She'd paw at my arm like she used to, demanding attention. Forcing me to the here and now.
So I will be trying my absolute best to do that for her. For me.
Bring myself to the moment and take action to address the thing keeping me stuck or let it go and get up and move on.
I absolutely hate she had to leave for me to really see it for what it was.
Sticking with me for 14yrs was no small feat and I could never express enough how grateful I am to have had her around.
Love always Bella. ♡
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