Simeon is stable. We thank the Lord that Simeon has been off intubation and back on his bubble CPAP for a couple weeks. The February surgery continues to be successful in mitigating the excessive connection between the heart and the lungs. Because of the surgery, now Simeon has a chance to gain weight and in time, God-willing, outgrow his high respiratory needs. We continue to be very thankful by the unparalleled resources at Texas Children’s. Regarding Calvin, he is doing very well at home and is my daily travel companion to and from the hospital. He is flourishing as a little baby and still the utter delight of Gwen and James.

 

We’ve still got a long way to go. The heavy news is that we’ve been told by pulmonology to brace ourselves for another 2–3 months for Simeon in the hospital this go around (not including his much bigger open heart repair months down the road). To put it mildly, we were gutted to hear this news. We’ve been living at Texas Children’s for more than 4 months now … and we have a few more months to go!? That’s because Simeon needs CPAP for several more weeks to gain weight and let his lungs get bigger before even trialing breathing in room air, and then there’s several more weeks after that for him to learn how to eat by mouth. Since birth, all of Simeon’s feeds have been done by NG tube so he has never learned the skill of breathing, sucking, swallowing. 

 

 

 

My parents (Brian and Kathy) drove back to Nebraska this past weekend. Simeon has been in the hospital way longer than anyone expected, so after 6 months of them being away from their home, my parents simply had to return to do some very important things in person by this point. Words cannot express the depth of gratitude Ben and I have for the sacrifice my parents have made to support us through our very extended chronic crisis. I remember back to that day in early September when the MFM in Nebraska told us of the serious pregnancy complications at 16 weeks. At the time we staying with my parents over the summer as we transitioned from England to Houston. Ben and I came home from the doctor with graven faces by the news, and my parents ushered me into a private room to speak while Ben distracted the big kids. I sobbed as I relayed to them the diagnosis and tragic potentialities. They both got down on their knees to comfort and hug me, and my mom with tears in her eyes looked at me with the fullness of strength and compassion saying, “Whatever happens, we will be with you. Dad and I will see you and Ben through this. You are not alone.” And taking my hands into theirs, they prayed fervently with tears now in their eyes that the Lord would preserve the lives of our precious twins and provide for our every need. 

 

Friends, the Lord has provided for our every need since September, and an unquestioned main way through which He has done so has been through my parents these last 6 months, and in particular through my mom. My mom has lived with us in Houston since September as we daily wondered when I might be emergently hospitalized. (My dad sacrificed greatly too by flying solo in October to teach his regular fall classes overseas in the Philippines without my mom until he could rejoin us in Houston late January, so they were apart for 4 months … He is one of my clearest heroes of the faith in so many ways, but that is its own story for a different occasion.) Day in and day out, my mom has demonstrated a radically selfless love. At a sprightly grandmotherly age, my mom has pushed through her own exhaustion and unrelenting arthritis to lavish radically selfless love upon us: daily getting on her knees to wipe up messy kid crumbs below the kitchen table, washing and folding the daily loads of laundry, doing nearly all the grocery shopping and cooking for the demanding hungry tummies of little kiddos (and full grown ones), vision casting for and helping organize a house we had just moved into, frequently cleaning the bathrooms and vacuuming our whole house, daily doing all our dishes, supervising basic tasks like our trash and recycling, picking up toys multiple times a day scattered through the house, etc. Even more, my mom has been a consistent presence for Gwen and James, providing tenderness and stability in daily instruction as well as looking to saturate their days with the truths of Jesus (often in response to Gwen’s many random 4-year-old questions). And for me and Ben, my mom has been a daily source of strength and stability for us to make it to the next day, providing timely perspective and wisdom and her contagious laughter as we’ve navigated these many months in crisis. My mom is just as the Proverb describes: a woman of phenomenal character who faces challenges by her diligence to prepare all while being confident in God whatever befalls. 

 

Why do I write all of this? Well, my mom has joyfully done all of this “in secret” so to speak, not seeking for herself public approval or recognition. And our hearts are bursting with gratitude not only by her irreplaceable service, but by her example of Jesus to us: radical, selfless love. In his first letter to the Corinthian church in Chapter 13, the Apostle Paul went to great lengths to explain what true love is. While the Christians there were all eager to boast to one another of their spectacular gifts of tongues, prophecy, faith, and almsgiving, Paul exhorted them to desire the greatest gift of all: love. He goes on to say that genuine love is patient and kind. Real love does not envy or boast, nor is it proud. This kind of love does not dishonor others, is not selfish, is not quick to anger, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love delights in the truth. True love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. This, dear friends, is a radical kind of love empowered by the Spirit of Jesus. And when I look for a portrait for this kind of love, I picture my mom. She has daily given her life to give life to our family.

 

Mom, thank you for daily living out the posture of “you before me.” I know it has costed you greatly. Thank you for displaying the radiant love of Jesus to us. You exude His presence. Thank you for helping us to “laugh at the days to come.” You have been a bulwark in these days. Thank you for your friendship. I am blessed among daughters to have you as my mom. True love never leaves anyone the same, so know that we have been changed by your love. You are our model for sacrificial love as we continue to pour ourselves out for Gwen, James, Calvin, and Simeon. May the Lord honor and bless you for the countless ways in which you have served in secret that only our Heavenly Father knows.