I've gotten a few messages asking us "what's next?" so I thought I would share. The past few weeks have felt like a "nesting stage" if you will. Todd is extremely crazy at work trying to wrap everything up, which really can't be wrapped up, but knowing he is walking away from being able to work for a few months has been hard on him and so he is spending crazy hours trying to get stuff done.

I am trying to get all the projects done that I may have needed man power for in the next 6 months. The doctor told us it could take him 6-12 months before he feels "normal". Todd is telling me it will take him 4. 

 We have had to drain our pool, organizing and dejunking, painted our son's room (cause we told him we would do it in the fall and that didn't happen), spilled 1/2 galloon of paint on our carpet, yes we had a tarp down but it missed the one part the tarp wasn't on, spent 3.5 hours cleaning that up and managed to save our carpet. Yay!!! Antibiotics for me, wheezing and crackling in my lungs, IV's for me, (dang grief is stored in the lungs, did you know that? And it's allllll been coming out for me), long work nights for Todd, and allllll the things that can break lately, has. We have had lots of tears and Todd and I stood in the doorway yesterday just bright eyed asking what in the heck is happening right now. We feel like we are on some out of control train and can't get off. But....we know it's okay. It will all get done. We invisioned this part of it being quiet and slow and hunkering down as a family. But...for whatever reason, it's not. And that is okay, too. We will hopefully get that time Easter weekend.

Next week Todd heads into Mayo, which is 2.5 hours away. It's a few days of testing and making sure all of his organs are good to move forward. Another bone marrow biopsy, and then a days rest. Then we both head back to Mayo for almost 7 days where they will give him some medicine that pushes his stems cells into his blood stream, pic lines, more tests, doctor visits, and then collection (where they take out his stem cells) and they said that could take 3-4 days and 6 hours a day. It will make him weak and tired.

Then we get to come home and enjoy Easter weekend with the family. That Monday morning we head back in to Mayo for more doctor appointments, the "chemo bomb" and transplant. He will be gone from the kids for at least 5 weeks and be home last day of May. Then when he returns home he will be "quaratined" for 30-60 days. No driving for a few months, no work and just healing and keeping healthy.

It's a lot. I am actually leaving out a lot of details. But, the back and forth and both of us being gone from the kids is doing a number on me. 
 I don't leave my babies often and having to go back and forth to be wife/caregivier and mom is a lot. I can't be in both places at the same time and I want to be. At least I feel peace that Todd's parents are here with them.

So if you see us in public and we have bags under our eyes down to our chin and walk like we haven't slept in days (probably because we haven't), and seem a little dazed....just know we are beyond exhausted. Every emotion I can experience this past week, I am. It's been a lot. We feel peace though and we know all will be okay but it's a lot in every way (mentally, emotionally and physicall) right now..

We continue to see God's hand every day and we are seriously so grateful.  We are gearing up for the next chapter that is just around the corner!