Another Hard Little Milestone - Time for a Haircut

Serge here -

Today Joshua decided that it was time for a buzzcut.

Over the last few days, his hair has started falling out more and more. At first it was a few hairs here and there, then enough hairs were ever-present on his pillow throughout the night that it became hard to ignore - and impossible to sleep, as they would tickle his face if he turned his head on the pillow.

It is strange how something as “small” as hair can hit your heart so hard.

We knew this was likely coming, but we thought this is something that we'd be able to deal with AFTER his first round of Chemo - but we were wrong. The doctors prepared us for it, telling us that in the first round of Chemo, he'd start seeing hair fall out. We thought (and hoped) that we had more time - between the diagnosis, the chemo, the hospital stays, the immune system precautions, the potential fertility issues that he might experience [due to his treatments], and the conversations that no parent ever wants to have with their child.

But still ... Watching your son lose his hair because of chemo is one of those moments that makes everything feel very real all over again.

So today, we - per Joshua's request - got the clippers out and gave Josh a buzzcut.

And, like he has done so many times through this, he handled it with more strength and grace than I think I could have. I am sure it was hard for him, but he handled it in the best way possible - smiling, joking, and focusing on the positive ("At least I'll not be spitting hair out of my mouth when I decide to lay sideways on my pillow").

I am sure it hurt in ways he may not even want to say out loud, but he stayed strong - for himself, and for us. He let us do what needed to be done, and somehow, even in a moment that felt heavy and heartbreaking, he was still our Joshua. Strong. Gentle. Himself.

As a dad, I wish I could take every hard thing away from him. I wish I could take his place in that hospital bed. I wish I could carry the chemo, the side effects, the fear, the uncertainty - all of it - so he could just be 15 years old, enjoying summer with his brothers and friends.

But I can’t.

So we stand beside him. We pray over him. We remind him that he is loved. We remind him that he is not alone. And we keep trusting that God is with him in every room, every treatment, every hard conversation, and every small milestone like today.

Hair grows back. We know that, but today was not really about hair. Today was another reminder of the path that he [and us] are walking - and another reminder of how much courage God has placed inside our son.

Please continue praying for Josh. Pray for his strength, his spirit, his healing, and his peace of mind. Pray for Anna and I as parents - that we have the wisdom, patience, and strength to support him well. Pray for his brothers and sister as they process all of this in their own ways [and that we can guide them in this journey]. And please continue praying for the doctors, nurses, and everyone caring for him.

We continue to feel the blessings from your prayers, messages, love, and support. 

Thank you for standing with us in this battle that tests our physical, mental, and spiritual resolve.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.
- Serge, Anna, Joshua, Theodore, Liam, and Ada ❤️

P.S. I know these updates can be raw and emotional, but we feel it is important to share the real parts of this journey too. Thank you for reading, praying, and walking alongside our family.

He was getting up multiple times each night to replace his pillowcase cover due to the amount of hair on it - which would tickle his face if he tried to lay on his side, so in Joshua's words; "At least we don't need to change the pillowcase cover 4 times each day".