I decided to wait to share this support now link until I felt like it was needed. I brought up getting a part time job to Kades doctor seeing as since induction is finished I felt he was doing so much better despite the 3 blood clots&going through chemo it seems like the only time it gets rough is When his mucusitis flares up, which is unfortunately quite often. When I brought that up his doctor informed me "it's because Kade actually hasn't started his intensive phase yet" which shocked me because I thought it started right after induction. They specifically said July through October it will be hard. He will be more at risk for infection. He will need blood and platelet transfusions more often and he will be on a lot more medication. The list they gave me has 12 medication's needed every single day and that's not including his as needed. I've really been in the here & now. After Kade getting sepsis & being so sick during induction it made me realize how much we really do take every day for granted..even if it's waking up every single hour or a couple Times in an hour every night I can't even be upset or drained because I actually will stop myself and think about how I am beyond blessed to be able to wake up to him and be there for him. I have been turning to my faith alot more at home like reading "30 days with Jesus" and Joyce Meyers "Managing your emotions" because the one thing I've realized is he feels my energy, he feels when I'm scared and when I'm sad. An example is when we were in the hospital and they were telling me that in order for them to call it leukemia, there needs to be at least 25% cancer cells in the bone marrow & Kades we're at 90% and that's exactly why he stopped walking.  I started crying, full on panic attack & Kade was on the other side of the curtain & he started getting fussy, crying, screaming "mama" I got it together so quick and went by his side and said "mamas okay see buddy" he giggled & I said "can mama have a hug" he put his arms up & hugged me back. That feeling is my entire purpose and even though it's hard.. so hard to a point I dont even know how to express it-im trying to view it as everything happens for a reason. Kade is strong, he is such a happy boy, silly, sweet and so so loving. For two he is so determined..telling me when he wants to "walk" and puts his hands out like "come on mom I wanna get back to walking pronto"

 The last few weeks I haven't been consistent in my communication with everyone & keeping everyone updated..and honestly it's mainly because I'm trying to get adjusted with this as our new normal. In all honesty, I did get served a 30 day vacate premises from my place in hortonville ironically after I brought up "reasonable accommodations" they had terminated my lease for a minor lease violation, which again everything happens for a reason. We're now super close to the children's & im just grateful I got approved for the place we're at now & ideally I'd like to be able raise funds for gas, car maintenance, bills, medical stuff for Kade like NG tube stickers, A NG tube pocket I can add to his shirts (it literally drags behind him) and honestly to just not be able to stress about everything else when he needs to be my main if not only focus. I need a village right now & I need people who understand I'm going through a lot & ultimately a life altering thing. I don't need constant belittling or questioning when am I going to do this or that because ultimately I am trying and this is hard. I know people think because Kades 2 he has no idea what's going on and while that may be true when it comes to him having no idea why he feels the way he does, why his hair is falling out, what cancer is, why mom is randomly crying when looking at him, he does know that something is different. He doesn't smile and giggle like he used to when I used to bring him in front of the mirror, there's no more "that Kade" followed by a big laugh. Instead it's "no no no" so I tell him "you're so cute, YES, you are so handsome, so strong and so brave." He may not know the whys BUT he knows something has changed. He knows we're at his doctors as soon as we enter the doors to children's. He knows his "Tubie" (NG tube) is for his medicine and he even says medicine now. So yes, it has definitely been a lot but I'm beyond grateful he's here & without even knowing it he's being so resilient & strong. We appreciate every single one of you who has kept up since his diagnosis, the thoughts and the prayers, the offers to help, the donations, the purchases off his wishlist & to answer the people who asked if I was going to update it with new stuff the answer is YES I just wanted to wait until it was needed. I would like to get everything in order before July because we will pretty much be in the house for four months unless it's for his appointments. I just can't take the risk. Thank you if you read all of this and we appreciate you.