Chemo
In support of
Erica Stein
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Erica Stein
Hi Everyone,
Last week was a big one. I finished IVF for fertility preservation and sadly after all of the shots, hormones and daily appointments, the day before starting chemo we go the news that none of our embryos made it to blastocyst. Still, I’m thankful for the opportunity we had to try to freeze embryos before chemo. And as they said “ it ain’t over til it’s over”.
This journey has been nothin, but unpredictable and without ease. My 6-8 weeks recovery turned into 12 weeks with complications I could have never anticipated. I still have several more surgeries coming, but I think I may be at capacity for now. I have a phase 2 of DIEP and a hysterectomy suggested before 40 due to BRCA1.
On Thursday June 24th I started my first round of TC Chemo and started cold capping. Getting treatment at The Perelman Center at Penn brings back a lot of heart ache, pain and memories of my mom. Although, thankfully most of the appointments my mom had there, chemo, radiation etc I was living in NYC and my mom lovingly shielded me from, knowing that I am walking in the same shoes as my mom with the same diagnosis of TNBC brings its own fears, trauma and makes me wish she was here more than anything.
I think if my mom were to have the option to cold cap, she would have. I remember hearing her shreak from downstairs when she was blow drying her hair and realized that her head was so hot because there was nothing left. I remember going to Bloomingdale’s, trying on hats, her’s over her wig and the wig coming off with one of the hats. Watching her fall to her knees sobbing. I was so sad for her but also so glad I got to be there for her in those moments where she needed me. I always thought cold capping was a way for patients to prevent losing their hair, but didn’t realize until now that Taxetere ( the “T” in TC) can cause permanent hair loss. For me, trying to hold on to anything that gives me some control in this journey is something I’m willing to try, although I had no idea painful and demanding this would be, it’s worth it.
Taxotere (docetaxel) and Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) 4 rounds. I can do this. Thankful for the strongest partner and caretaker, Sean, for taking on anything and everything for the last 4 months with no stopping in sight. And for those who have dropped off sweets, flowers anything , dinners, offers to take Jordan we still really really appreciate it. Especially last few days to lift my spirits as chemo has brought me to a new low. I am not me right now, and I won’t be for a while. I appreciate every ounce of prayer, positivity and support send my way right now 🩷.
Chemo has brought bone pain, nausea, loss of taste, memory, exhaustion and brain fog. The good news is there is an end date in sight and right now it’s September 25th. Until then, I will be doing whatever I can to get through each day. Thank god for my little sunshine’s hugs, smiles and foot rugs to make me smile.
Sending Love,
Erica
Last week was a big one. I finished IVF for fertility preservation and sadly after all of the shots, hormones and daily appointments, the day before starting chemo we go the news that none of our embryos made it to blastocyst. Still, I’m thankful for the opportunity we had to try to freeze embryos before chemo. And as they said “ it ain’t over til it’s over”.
This journey has been nothin, but unpredictable and without ease. My 6-8 weeks recovery turned into 12 weeks with complications I could have never anticipated. I still have several more surgeries coming, but I think I may be at capacity for now. I have a phase 2 of DIEP and a hysterectomy suggested before 40 due to BRCA1.
On Thursday June 24th I started my first round of TC Chemo and started cold capping. Getting treatment at The Perelman Center at Penn brings back a lot of heart ache, pain and memories of my mom. Although, thankfully most of the appointments my mom had there, chemo, radiation etc I was living in NYC and my mom lovingly shielded me from, knowing that I am walking in the same shoes as my mom with the same diagnosis of TNBC brings its own fears, trauma and makes me wish she was here more than anything.
I think if my mom were to have the option to cold cap, she would have. I remember hearing her shreak from downstairs when she was blow drying her hair and realized that her head was so hot because there was nothing left. I remember going to Bloomingdale’s, trying on hats, her’s over her wig and the wig coming off with one of the hats. Watching her fall to her knees sobbing. I was so sad for her but also so glad I got to be there for her in those moments where she needed me. I always thought cold capping was a way for patients to prevent losing their hair, but didn’t realize until now that Taxetere ( the “T” in TC) can cause permanent hair loss. For me, trying to hold on to anything that gives me some control in this journey is something I’m willing to try, although I had no idea painful and demanding this would be, it’s worth it.
Taxotere (docetaxel) and Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) 4 rounds. I can do this. Thankful for the strongest partner and caretaker, Sean, for taking on anything and everything for the last 4 months with no stopping in sight. And for those who have dropped off sweets, flowers anything , dinners, offers to take Jordan we still really really appreciate it. Especially last few days to lift my spirits as chemo has brought me to a new low. I am not me right now, and I won’t be for a while. I appreciate every ounce of prayer, positivity and support send my way right now 🩷.
Chemo has brought bone pain, nausea, loss of taste, memory, exhaustion and brain fog. The good news is there is an end date in sight and right now it’s September 25th. Until then, I will be doing whatever I can to get through each day. Thank god for my little sunshine’s hugs, smiles and foot rugs to make me smile.
Sending Love,
Erica
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