Is "fuuuuuuuck" spelled with "U"s, U's, or Us? (Asking for a word nerd stuck in anticipatory grief.)
In support of
Dave, Alynda, and Jack
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Dave, Alynda, and Jack
There aren’t enough U’s in the world to properly capture how fuuuuuuuuucked we are. It’s bad enough when doctors start using months as their preferred unit of measure. It’s brutal when the months are in single digits. It’s devastating when those digits are for the person you were supposed to watch turn into a funny, sweet old man. But fuck us, there it is. Dave is here for a good time, not a long time.
I’ll catch you up. We did the big Vegas trip. We explored Meow Wolf, Hoover Dam, and the Neon Museum. Dave took in the Punk Rock Museum with friends. And yeah, we took that mother-effin’ helicopter to the mother-effin’ Grand Canyon. (Nice hole they got there.) It was incredible. I took way too many pictures, was militant about hydration, and forced my dudes to look like total dorks in SPF sun hoodies that litchrully nobody else in that scorched desert thought necessary. We didn’t touch a single slot machine until we hit the airport on the way home. You’re welcome for the last $20 bucks, Vegas. Consider it a tip.
When we got back from the Bucket List Bacchanal, we received the awesome news that radiation had significantly beat back Dave’s tumor. His oncologist said he might even be able to drive again! Here’s the thing: Nothing prepares you for the cancer roller coaster. “Whee!” the doctor said.* “You’re going up, up, up! Isn’t that great?” Please don your emergency thinking caps to imagine me slow-blinking and holding back rage. WE STILL CAN’T GET OFF THIS RIDE, LADY. ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY NOW? AND DRIVING?! ARE YOU HIGH? STOP FUCKING SMILING!
I want to be explicit here: We have received world-class care at UW. We have several doctors, including palliative and psych specialists, who’ve held us in the palm of their big, warm hands, and guided us through the unimaginable. But yeah, communication from certain sectors has been an ongoing issue. It actually prompted yours truly to join UW Medical Center’s Patient and Family Advisory Board. That’s been a deeply rewarding experience so far, and I’m genuinely humbled to help improve experiences and outcomes for patients and their advocates. [Curtsy.]
A month later, the roller coaster plummeted. Dave’s latest MRI shows two new presentations of glioblastoma in his brain. He’s beginning to feel the effects: slower thinking, short-term memory issues, that sorta biz. Palliative got real with us and starting using words like "death" and "acceptance" and "soon." A consult at the other major hospital system here, Swedish Health, mirrored what we’d heard at UW. So here we are, stuck with all these U’s. So fuuuuuuucked.
We’re still squeezing what joy we can out of this thing called life. We hit up Vashon Island, saw a lighthouse, played board games, and bought questionable cans of souvenir sardines. We’re going back to Leavenworth, a Bavarian kitsch village in the mountains due east, where they wear lederhosen unironically and feast on Christmas ornaments. We’re making collages and watching weird shit on TV. We’re cuddling like it’s an Olympic sport and we’re America’s best hope for gold. (All the commentators say we have a real shot.)
We’ll keep you posted on the journey ahead. Expect a few zoom calls, some weird art, and the occasional request to sit on the phone and listen to me cry. That’s all we need for now. Love you guys.
—Total Savages
*She absolutely did not say “whee,” and liken this shit show to an amusement ride, but artistic license and whatnot.
P.S.: All the apologies if your donation went unrecognized for entirely too long. I thought I turned that feature off and haven’t checked this spot in a bit. You’re all so kind. Please do not feel obligated to give money, but thank you so much to those who did. We are so grateful for all of you!
Alynda Wheat
about 1 month ago
Comments
Jane Campbell
Love, Jane & Del
Cynthia Wang
Just a quick post to say that, first of all, the sun hoodie photo is album-cover worthy, and second of all, I would love to Zoom with you. Third of all, I will add all the letter Us you need to scream out to the world. Love from Down Under, Cynthia and Matt
Anthony Breznican
Michael Maurer
Natashaorourke
Mitzye Ramos
Sharon Vary
Jason Adams
Anna Brinkmann
Julie Watson
Christine Spines
Adrienne Bradley
Marty Wolk
Barb Mowery
That was heartbreakingly beautiful.
Joi Vaughn
Fred Kluth
Matt Haas
Andy Berry
Cooper Sealy
Peace be with you ♥️♥️
Sumeet Bal
Rotonya Carr
Wendy Karle