I cannot believe it's December 12. Does anyone else feel like the holiday season has already come and gone? For the first year, we put up our decorations in early November. We traveled to Houston to visit Kyle's family for Thanksgiving, and I wanted to come back to Christmas. I also wanted to savor the season in a way that I don't feel able to, when it starts immediately after Thanksgiving. I feel like I'm a race horse waiting for the gun shot to fire followed by a mad dash to the finish line every year, and this year, in particular, I really wanted to just enjoy the season without feeling hurried through it. I hope you've been able to do the same. 

I am not sending out Christmas cards. I thought about it. We took pictures in preparation to send Christmas cards, but since I'm already sharing long form here, consider this your digital Christmas card! You've been up to date on the happenings in our world more so than any Christmas card I have yet to read, so I hope this suffices!

First off, thank you all for keeping our family in your prayers for most of this year. For your tremendous support, thoughtful check ins, donations, for feeding us, for bringing gifts and sending snail mail even though you have never met us! Truly, unbelievable to be on the receiving end of your generosity. I watch a show called Call the Midwives - it's a beautiful wholesome show about birth and babies and faith. It's a great season to start it, if it speaks to you, but I wrote a quote down in my phone on 6/28/2022 - the summer after Addison arrived "God isn't in the event. He is in response to the event. In the love that is shown and the care that is given." I have that written in the notes section of my phone. It stuck out so much to me then. I was in a period of deep exploration of God and faith, and I jotted that down. Little did I know, I would experience God's response to our event. It moves me to tears now, as I write about it. He is so good and faithful, and he really is in the details, and all of you have been his footworkers. Thank you. 

Addison got her G tube out the Wednesday after Thanksgiving (her feeding tube in her belly). The removal was nonsurgical and uneventful. She was apprehensive about it hurting and tensed up for the removal, but we let her watch Miss Rachel (a favorite around here) and covered the whole with gauze. Her only focus afterwards was seeing her favorite hospital worker - Michael- and going to the hospital cafeteria. Kids one track minds are such a blessing in these circumstances. The G tube was held together against her stomach wall by an inflated balloon. They removed the water from the balloon, which deflated the balloon and then removed the tube. The stomach starts to seal and heal within 48 hours. Truly remarkable. Addison had some skin growth (hypergranulation tissue) outside of her tube that may remain. It's a "normal healing response that's red, bumpy, and bleeds easily due to irritation from leakage, pressure, or moisture, treatable with barrier creams, steroid ointments". We were told that some of that tissue had already scarred, so that which had already scarred, will likely remain and that which hadn't will hopefully go away. As a mother to a girl, my heart is heavy for her knowing she has to deal with something on her stomach - an area of such body image issues for young girls as they grow. Please continue to pray with me that Addison will not have any insecurities relating to her belly as she continues to grow older and that girls and boys will be kind to her. I pray that there is no open door related to any insecurities around her belly and its appearance as she matures, and that she will always know how glorious her belly and body are, in spite of appearances. This is a prayer heavy on my heart right now. 

She is extremely motivated to move right now. She is standing up on her own using furniture to stand, and she moves around our house by holding onto tables, chairs, window sills and the backs of couches. We've added foam protective pieces to our window sills and counters and are continuously rearranging and assessing safety in our home for her, just as we have done as Andrew has grown and gotten more bold. It's exciting that she is motivating, but like having a young toddler, you can't be far or look away, because they move quickly. 

A dear friend drove from Dallas to let us use her daughter's walker and gait trainer. Addison does not want to use them, so we are making do with holding her shoulders, letting her push strollers and tying sweatshirts around her, so that we can help her walk. We now walk around our neighborhood, with her walking instead of in the stroller, and it's amazing to have her more mobile. 

I taught a workout class last week in our neighborhood and she was laying in the grass next to me copying all of our core movements, just the way she used to prior to the accident. It's a relief to have that part of her back and able. 

We've been doing lots of play dates amidst therapy. Addison asks every morning "who are we going to play with today?" I am extremely encouraged that she regularly asks to be amongst her peers. A friend asked me this morning if it's hard for me to be with her and other little girls her age, and the answer is, yes. As her mother, I don't make a big deal about it or let it be known that I am thinking about it. I treat her as if I would have the accident not happened, but my mother heart watches other girls running around and giggling together, and my heart aches that she isn't doing that and is instead watching. She doesn't appear bothered by it, and I don't ask, although lately I have started to feel that I should broach the subject in a neutral way rather than not asking anything. I don't want to miss anything that may be on her heart. We have a 13 year old girl that lives in our neighborhood who comes over every evening she is at her mom's house. Addison loves when she comes over, and they play with dolls and zoo together. I love this for her, and I'm glad she has her, but I am hopeful that she can start to develop deeper bonds with girls her age. It's an interesting age - her peers are all aware of what happened, and they greet her kindly, and some ask why she needs help walking, some observe cautiously, but ultimately most are cordial and then run off to do what they want to do - rightfully so. They are 3 and want to go play, but it is challenging, and I'm just praying for female friendships for her that are rooted in their joy and innocence. 

We continue OT, PT, speech and equine five times a week right now. Many have asked if she will do another intensive, and I am sure she will, but we don't know when. We are waiting to assess where she is at in the New Year. She has been to four equine sessions, and after the fourth one, I think we may have turned a corner. I don't get to participate in her sessions. They take her and get her on the horse and go off on the trail. It's both a relief and a challenge for me. A relief, because the therapy place is beautiful, and I get to sit in Dripping Springs in a rocking chair and enjoy the glorious weather we've been having. A challenge, because I like to be able to observe what is going on, so we have a shared experience and language to talk through any fears or anything else that may come up. This past week, they videoed her session for me, so that I can observe the session. She has been saying she doesn't like Annie, her horse, so I want to see if she had just been uninterested in the therapy because it's on a horse, or if there is anything else that needs to shift for her. 

Her hair is growing nicely. It matted terribly for a long time while we were in the hospital. A big chunk had to be shaved on the top of her head. We cut the back of her hair to be more even - there are a lot of layers, because I cut around the matted ball while in the hospital, and the front of her bangs where it was shaved is at an awkward length, but it's growing in nicely, and she doesn't notice the difference. Fortunately, we weren't in the habit of doing her hair much prior to the accident, so she wasn't previously attentive to her hair needing to look a certain way. 

I still have our nanny with us helping out. It's really a necessity at this point and has been such a relief to have extra hands. 

Addison requested to ride her scooter, so we bought her a new one, and we assisted her in standing on it while holding onto her and pushing her on it a couple of times in our neighborhood. I am so thankful she doesn't have fear around being on her scooter. 

We did follow up imaging prior to Thanksgiving and found out her thrombus (her blood clots) are GONE. We are officially off of blood thinners, which is amazing for our wallet, and more importantly, is such a huge victory in her healing. We will go back in a year for follow up imaging related to her shunt and make sure her hydrocephalus (a buildup of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the brain's ventricles, causing pressure that can damage brain tissue) is still being controlled well with the current shunt setting. 

Her language and comprehension are top notch, but her speech speed is still slower than it was. We work with a speech therapist once a week on bringing space between her ribs, lots of lateral stretching and twisting and diaphragm work and breath control. The emphasis has been on supporting her physical body to find spaciousness and proper alignment in order to support her speech. Even though she is talking well, we will continue this indefinitely to give her the best outlook for improved speech. 

Her and Andrew continue to be best buds, and it's been fun to watch their relationship flourish and evolve. 

She had a great time with her cousins over Thanksgiving and loves being around them. They are amazing with her - they dote on her, spend lots of time with her, even though they're older and prioritize play and connection with her. It's always hard for her to leave the cousins. 

Every night we talk about if anything made Addison scared, mad, sad or happy that day, and pretty much every day, she only reports things that make her happy. I am grateful for that. 

Many blessings to you and yours this Christmas season. I will continue to post on this page as there are updates. They will be less frequent, as they have been, but if there are notable things to share, you can expect to receive those updates here.