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Remembering Andrew

In support of
The Steinhaus Family

After 15 months of bravery and determination, Andrew passed away today after a seizure—a dramatic ending to a dramatic journey. Andrew may have pulled the short stick over and over, but he played a perfect game. He had no regrets.

When he thought he just had some back pain last June, he went to the ER at NYU because it was a good place to get admitted, if it came to that. He intentionally chose to maintain care at NYU because he knew he’d need access to many different specialties and NYU has a deep bench—plus, he had several special doctors he trusted and who cared for him well. He moved mountains to get a spot on a promising clinical trial to give himself the best chance of durable maintenance.

Andrew also spent the last 15 months cementing his legacy. He strengthened old relationships, invested in new ones, said yes when people offered to help, and deeply committed to a meaningful relationship with God.

He was most proud of the literally hundreds of letters he wrote to me, Vivian, and Wesley. They range from practical—a list of who to call and what I should do first after he dies—to sentimental to nostalgic to funny in just the way Andrew was. Some of my favorite titles in the folder called “Advice” include: “Don’t talk to the cops,” “Male-dominated careers,” and “Bad financial ideas.”

Andrew had a beautiful way of making me and the kids feel safe and loved, and he made sure that didn't stop when he was gone. The kids and I each have our own folder of letters meant to carry us through many, many birthdays and future milestones. Andrew’s lungs may be out of breath, but he will live on in our love, our memories, and this legacy project he was so proud of.

Andrew's burial will be later this week at Cedar Park Cemetery in Paramus, NJ. There will also be a celebration of life service within the next week or two at Hoboken Grace church in Hoboken. I will update this blog with details as they come together.

Elyse Steinhaus
12 months ago

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Comments

Donna Thompson 12 months ago

Elyse, I am so sorry. Andrew put up a good fight. I know he loved you and your two babies deeply. He will forever be in your heart. It is so hard to lose the love of your life. You are strong. Andrew is now in the arms of Jesus, our messiah. He is feeling no more sorrow and no more pain. His love for you is forever. Praying for peace and comfort for you and family. Love to all.

Susan Davis 12 months ago

What beautiful words and what a beautiful legacy. The letters. I’m so sorry for such a dramatic end to valiantly fought battle. But I know the life he left behind will never leave you. I lost my first husband when my boys were 3 and 4 1/2. God’s sustaining love is real. So is the pain. But the love overcomes.

Vee Kelly 12 months ago

My deepest sympathies, Elyse. May Andrew rest in eternal peace with God. And may the loving legacy of letters he wrote bring you all comfort.

Audra Mitchell 12 months ago

Your updates have been appreciated, thoughtful and so meaningful, even the ones I know had to be difficult to write. Hearing how you and Andrew faced these challenges side by side was so special and did not surprise me. I haven't met you, but I worked with Andrew and during one training session I sat near Andrew at dinner and heard so much about you and stories about his approach to many different things in life that helps me totally understand the letters and advice you say Andrew left. Andrew's mind was always working and that and many other great qualities made Andrew a great co-worker. Sending prayers for your family during this difficult time and I know the many thoughts and reminders from the letters will provide comfort.

Meredith Bodgas 12 months ago

What an amazing tribute to an amazing person from an amazing person. I will greatly miss Andrew's colorful commentary on our calls. Sending all my love and deepest condolences. May Andrew's memory be the sweetest blessing. Thank goodness for those letters.

Debbie Smith 12 months ago

Elyse, what a testament Andrew’s life has been. He leaves behind a legacy of love, patience, and most importantly a strong faith in our Lord and Savior. You can rest assured you will see Andrew again. Hold those babies close and when people offer help, accept it. We know that may be difficult, remember they are mourning Andrew’s passing also.Much love to each of you.

Adriana Fandino 12 months ago

Though I only knew Andrew through our work calls, I was deeply touched by the strength and love you shared in your blogs. It showed how much love and courage filled your family. His spirit and bravery were inspiring and so was yours. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

Dawn Stowers 12 months ago

I’m awake tonight at 1am and felt a prompt to go to this page to check on Andrew. My heart is so sad to hear of his passing and I can’t imagine the enormous grief and loss that you, Vivi and the family must be feeling right now. Andrew’s journey with this sickness was so unfair, but his acceptance of Jesus Christ, and knowing where he was going, is one of the most profound and beautiful testimonies I’ve ever heard. I’ve watched it many times. He’s now with Jesus forever and we can have peace that Andrew is touring Heaven right now and he is with the Lord. Elyse, I love you and I know your heart is broken but you have shown a strength that is rarely seen and honored Andrew as a dedicated wife and mother. You my precious friend have walked this journey with so much grace and love. Praying for you!! Love you.

Francesco Deluca 12 months ago

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m at a loss for words. I had really hoped we’d have more time together, and wish he had more time with your family. Am here to support any way I can. <3

Deb Long 12 months ago

Elyse, I am so very sorry - I know Andrew fought hard and did everything he could do. His love for all of you will always be in your heart. Stay strong and know that God will always be with you. I'm sending all of you love, hugs and prayers and may you find peace with God surrounding you.

Robert Weyman 12 months ago

Elyse, thank you for sharing. Andrew was such a special person and right up to the end he continued to find humor, joy and purpose in the world. He was such a strong, curious, joyful soul; someone who squeezed everything he could out of this life. Praying for you all during this difficult time.

Alice Champagne 12 months ago

As I try to write words I don’t have many. I didn’t get to meet or know Andrew but I can honestly feel his love for his family. I’m sad he is gone from this earthly life but was happy he met Jesus. Praying for you Elyse and children and my special friend Dionne. May our loving God hold you all close. I’m so sorry for your loss and Heaven is rejoicing now w Andrew.

Joni Woolf 12 months ago

You two have been a a remarkable example for folks you don't even know. May you be sustained in days ahead by the love of friends and family, and by a faith that transcends the here and now.

Nirensaldanha 12 months ago

Your determination, care and attitude was stellar. May the letters bring you and the family some comfort. Deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Richard Salsano 12 months ago

Elyse. Words cannot express how truly sorry I am that you and Andrew had to go through all of this. Andrew was such a special person. Everyone who knew him will have countless memories and stories of Andrew sharing something surprising, brilliant, witty, heartwarming and more. I know you have all those memories stored in your heart but it sounds like Andrew also left you and the kids something personal to treasure and use when you need something to make you smile. Thank you for everything you have done to share all these updates with us. It has meant a lot to all of us. Andrew’s life is certainly one that should be celebrated.

Harley Duncan 12 months ago

Elyse, Other colleagues have expressed better than I can what a joy and pleasure it was to work with and know Andrew. His love for you and the family showed through in everything, and you never went away from a conversation with Andrew without a smile. Absolutely a jewel and a really good human being. He will be missed for sure, but with his files of letters, he will always be close to you and the kids, so you can think of him and smile often. God bless.

Rachel Ciccarella 12 months ago

Thank you for sharing. We are praying for you daily. We love you guys so much!

Liezl Walker 12 months ago

Praying for you Elyse, Vivian, and Wesley. Thank you for sharing one of the most kind and phenomenal person who I have ever been blessed to know - he inspired me and others to be more compassionate, empathetic, and grateful. We are here for you and the family.

Susan Riley 12 months ago

He fought for every day and I know you are so thankful. Sending love, hugs and prayers for you and your children, your parents and aunt and all of your truly wonderful friends that have supported you daily. God Bless You All.

Jason Shain 12 months ago

Elyse, sending you, Vivian and Wesley my heartfelt condolences. Andrew's an amazing person and like others have said, one would always leave a conversation with him having a smile on their face. Thank you for sharing the Legacy project, it's another amazing thing Andrew has done and will certainly bring comfort in the years ahead. I know he will always be looking down on the three of you providing guidance and protection. God Bless you all.

Rick Blattner 12 months ago

Elyse, I am very sorry to hear about Andrew. You wrote a wonderful tribute to his fight and to the legacy that he leaves behind. I will truly miss my discussions with Andrew around GenAI and will always remember laughing so hard at his stories about his problematic BMW. Andrew will be deeply missed. May God bless and comfort you and your family.

June Littlepage 12 months ago

Thank you Andrew. What an incredible testimony to a life lived well. Always loving God and loving people (especially his beloved wife and children). May the comfort of Christ surround you all.

Mary Alice Cashin 12 months ago

Elyse, my sincere condolences on the loss of Andrew. Andrew's strength throughout his illness and your love and dedication to him during this difficult journey was remarkable. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your children during this time. I hope you take comfort in the love you shared and the beautiful legacy Andrew leaves behind.

JoElla Deliberto 12 months ago

So sorry for your loss. May your wonderful memories always be with you and your beautiful family. You are all in our prayers.

Shawn Johnson 12 months ago

Elyse, I am at a loss for words. My heart hurts for you. I love your Mom so very much and am so grateful you have her. Praying for you and your babies. ❤️🙏🏻

Mwaka Yawawa 12 months ago

My condolences to you and the family 2nd Timothy 4vs 7-8 " i have fought a good fight, i have finished the race. Now there is for me the crown of righteousness which the lord, will reward me on that day." Andrew fought a good fight ans he finished thw race strong. He is in the father's arms. May God's strength be with you and the kids. Amen 🙏

Mary McGill 12 months ago

I am so sorry for your loss. I never met Andrew but got to know him on his journey. He fought for his family and found God. I will continue to pray for all of you. May the Lord be with you and give you comfort and strength.

Jennifer.barrett 12 months ago

Elyse, what a beautiful tribute, and a what a legacy Andrew will have. I'm so sorry he's gone and for all you both have been through. He's a pretty incredible person - strong, brave, thoughtful, determined, loving - and so are you. Sending you love.

Tom Nondorf 12 months ago

Beautiful thoughts. All I can say is I loved when you two got together and I always enjoyed talking to him (I liked to pick his brain about Superfund sites). The world lost a good, good guy but not without a good battle, it seems. Sending love.

Roz Williams 12 months ago

Elyse, please accept my condolences to you and your family for you loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the children. May Andrew Rest In Eternal Peace.

Christopher Porcu 11 months ago

Deer Elyse, Vivian & Wesley, I am only now hearing the sad news of Andrew’s illness and subsequent passing. On Behalf of my wife Vivian & myself, I would like to offer our deepest condolences to the entire Steinhaus family. I have fond memories of a young Andrew while he was an active brother of the fraternity, as a student at St. John’s University. As the defacto President of the Alumni Association, allow me to also offer our prayers from the Alumni Brotherhood… “Our Heavenly Father, We Pray That Thou Will Watch Over Our Brother Andrew. May He Always Be A Part Of Us And The Traditions That He Helped Maintain In Sigma Chi Upsilon.” With Sympathy, Christopher Porcu, EXY 1981 / StJ 1985

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