Things are a little hard and messy right now. We did decide after talking with providers and testing that the best choice for Judah right now is to actually get a G tube. This is such a “God thing” at this point. The sinus infection has been the perfect storm that has essentially left us with no other choice. He is gagging when he even smells his formula, he’s been so nauseated, and that’s on zofran!! Around the clock!! Like, he has been waking up and gagging laying flat on his back in bed at night. He will have way better nutrition & hydration, we will be able to respect his “no” and still help his body to grow, and I will be able to get a break. Currently, my leaving him for any length of time means he won’t be fed. Or dad will have to syringe feed him. I love him dearly but that’s not sustainable. As long as it heals well, it’s going to be one of the best things we’ve ever done for him. We will know more about timelines and expectations by the end of this week. Reminder: we LOVE prayer. 

As mom, I’m doing my best right now to leave my worries at the altar. I can’t control or change anything. My feelings are valid (so glad I have therapy!), but I can’t let them stop my day-to-day life. And when I feel emotionally heavy, I get out of the house! I have had friends around all three days this week! It’s been such a blessing. I’m working on looking for the little blessings and the little ways people are showing up for us right now because Judah’s journey is very isolating, and it has been SO HARD. But I really have faith it will get easier or at least different soon. 

We’re dropping one medication to try another, I have high hopes for that, and hopefully will do a mobility equipment-based intensive soon. There are so many great things happening for Judah just down the pipeline. I just have to keep him fed and medicated this week and pray like crazy that the drs will agree to do surgery (hopefully both g tube and adenoidectomy at the same time!) very very soon.