First Cycle of Chemo Done
In support of
Judy Ann’s 2nd Cancer Journey.
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Judy Ann’s 2nd Cancer Journey.
Now that my first cycle of chemotherapy is over, I have another round coming up next week before they do another scan to determine what comes next — whether I’m finally able to have surgery to remove the tumor or if I’ll need two more cycles of chemo.
And somehow… this part feels even heavier.
People expect you to feel relieved when chemo ends — and part of you absolutely does. But when the appointments slow down for even a moment, it’s like your body and soul finally have time to realize everything you’ve just endured.
For months, you survive by staying in “go mode.”
One treatment at a time.
One appointment at a time.
One hard day at a time.
One treatment at a time.
One appointment at a time.
One hard day at a time.
You don’t really stop to feel it while you’re fighting to get through it.
But then the quiet comes.
And suddenly the exhaustion catches up to you.
The fear catches up to you.
The emotions you pushed aside just to survive finally rise to the surface.
The fear catches up to you.
The emotions you pushed aside just to survive finally rise to the surface.
Because even though a cycle may end… the uncertainty doesn’t.
There are still scans.
Still decisions.
Still surgeries.
Still waiting.
Still the fear of hearing words you’re not ready for.
Still decisions.
Still surgeries.
Still waiting.
Still the fear of hearing words you’re not ready for.
Your body is trying to heal from everything chemotherapy has taken out of you, while your heart and mind are still trying to process the trauma of living through it all. And somehow, the world keeps moving like you’re supposed to just step back into normal life.
But nothing about this journey feels normal.
It’s such a painful and confusing place to be — feeling grateful to be here while also feeling completely exhausted by everything it took to get here. Feeling hopeful one moment and terrified the next. Wanting to move forward while still grieving the version of yourself that existed before cancer.
People see “finished chemo” as the finish line.
But for many of us, it’s only the beginning of another chapter we never asked to live.
But for many of us, it’s only the beginning of another chapter we never asked to live.
The part people don’t always see.
The waiting.
The healing.
The grieving.
The rebuilding.
The healing.
The grieving.
The rebuilding.
The quiet battles that happen long after everyone thinks the hard part is over.
The in-between.
I hold on to faith, believing that God sees every act of kindness and will return it to you a hundredfold.
Right now, we are fighting not just for healing-but for more time, more memories, and more moments together as a family.
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for your love, support, and prayers. May God bless each and every one of you.
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