36 days later
In support of
The Franke Family
View Support Page
The Franke Family
Two months one week. This is how long we have survived since dad died. There feels as if a tone deaf rhetoric around the quality of life. Inflation. War. Internal strife.
Lest this devolve Into philosophy rhetoric, some low-lights of merit:
*hoa took away everything dad spent the last 30 years creating in the garden. Something something "code enforcement" yet the removed courner stones prove water erosion without barriers makes a walkway mess. Currently immersed in some weird power play for property control. It is not fun. I am disassocating to cope .
*social security call scheduled for October 26th
*Memorial coin pieces put on hold, as the fabrication expert has lost his mom to complications arising doom a heart attack (my condolences)
*mom is still in stage 4 kidney disease and congestive heart failure; she had a fall a week after I was released from the hospital in August, and the first available appointment for Rehab to address her gait and balance/strength is not until December.
*we opened joint bank account.
*the lawyer to re write mom's will is also down for the count, having broken her wrist in a fall so now I am certain there will be some escrow headaches in the future. Unfortunately.
I look around and everything reminds me of him. The memory's we created. What was left behind with... foresight? I am fortunate enough to still be employed however continue to apply for work in other fields, recognizing the ROI is not sustainable anymore.
A highlight:
Dad's mini shrine is complete on top the wall cabinate unit mom and dad designed years ago. It is a crowning accomplishment of their ingenuity, and I am grateful for this to be a resting place.
Once mom also passes, I will move both of their remains to Pinelawn in ny with the rest of the family.
I am taking the time to reflect on the men in my life, or lack thereof. Along with concepts of "protection" "stability" and "love." Some days, I am a shell. This is when I stay in bed with mom and watch the Halloween movie marathons: "Hocus Pocus" and "Beetlejuice" being favorites. There is an emptiness. There is no will to fight back or really connect or create with anyone else anymore. Suppose, this is a modus to explore later in life.
Dad on his death bed wished someone specifically would "be a good partner for life for me." This is no longer the case. Dad had also wished to go back to Germany one last time with me. I wonder at how to grant the final wishes of this beloved dead man; perhaps I can be a partner solo for myself forevermore. Seems less... disappointing.
2 months one week.
You are survived, Lothar F W. FRANKE by your wife, Ilse Franke and me.
Throughout all the discoveries and stories, my favorite title for you is this:
"DADDY."
I MISS YOU EVERY DAY.
Lest this devolve Into philosophy rhetoric, some low-lights of merit:
*hoa took away everything dad spent the last 30 years creating in the garden. Something something "code enforcement" yet the removed courner stones prove water erosion without barriers makes a walkway mess. Currently immersed in some weird power play for property control. It is not fun. I am disassocating to cope .
*social security call scheduled for October 26th
*Memorial coin pieces put on hold, as the fabrication expert has lost his mom to complications arising doom a heart attack (my condolences)
*mom is still in stage 4 kidney disease and congestive heart failure; she had a fall a week after I was released from the hospital in August, and the first available appointment for Rehab to address her gait and balance/strength is not until December.
*we opened joint bank account.
*the lawyer to re write mom's will is also down for the count, having broken her wrist in a fall so now I am certain there will be some escrow headaches in the future. Unfortunately.
I look around and everything reminds me of him. The memory's we created. What was left behind with... foresight? I am fortunate enough to still be employed however continue to apply for work in other fields, recognizing the ROI is not sustainable anymore.
A highlight:
Dad's mini shrine is complete on top the wall cabinate unit mom and dad designed years ago. It is a crowning accomplishment of their ingenuity, and I am grateful for this to be a resting place.
Once mom also passes, I will move both of their remains to Pinelawn in ny with the rest of the family.
I am taking the time to reflect on the men in my life, or lack thereof. Along with concepts of "protection" "stability" and "love." Some days, I am a shell. This is when I stay in bed with mom and watch the Halloween movie marathons: "Hocus Pocus" and "Beetlejuice" being favorites. There is an emptiness. There is no will to fight back or really connect or create with anyone else anymore. Suppose, this is a modus to explore later in life.
Dad on his death bed wished someone specifically would "be a good partner for life for me." This is no longer the case. Dad had also wished to go back to Germany one last time with me. I wonder at how to grant the final wishes of this beloved dead man; perhaps I can be a partner solo for myself forevermore. Seems less... disappointing.
2 months one week.
You are survived, Lothar F W. FRANKE by your wife, Ilse Franke and me.
Throughout all the discoveries and stories, my favorite title for you is this:
"DADDY."
I MISS YOU EVERY DAY.
Comments
Mixallsolutions3 13 days ago