Sorry it’s been a little bit since I posted an update. In our world, with regard to everything cancer, quiet is usually good. We love boring and quiet these days. 

We had a wonderful Christmas holiday, even with Hand, Foot and Mouth having made the rounds. Bryce and Ronan were hit the hardest and somehow I escaped completely. BUT no fevers over threshold so no ER visits thank goodness. We enjoyed the visit with Bryce’s parents very much. And, we even made it to the beach the day before New Year’s Eve and saw the most incredible sunset. We’ve gotten good at finding and appreciating the happy moments I think.

Ronan also got off of his chemo hold and has even had a tiny increase since then. His kidneys haven’t looked overly happy these last few checks though, and his nephrologist thinks it is related to the weekly methotrexate. His oncologist thought maybe moving his dose from evening to morning may help since he is drinking all day versus not drinking overnight. We tried that this week and it has definitely resulted in more nausea, which is a new challenge. I’m hoping we can get a better plan for nausea meds for next week. We have a clinic visit Monday to check counts, and be seen. We’ll see if his kidneys look happier then too. 

So, we just stay in this holding pattern and hope things continue to march along. We are cautiously looking forward. We’re all processing the last 18 months in our own ways. It’s a work in progress for everyone. We are grateful things continue to roll forward but to be honest, we are also tired. This road is long. I’ve also come to understand that in some ways, this will never be over. The fear of it, and the worry will never cease to exist. We have to learn to live in that space. There will be no going back to “before.” The world is also heavy for other reasons right now as I’m sure many of you feel. So keeping on feels like the right descriptor. 

But, forward is good. Bryce turns the big 4-0 this month. We’re hoping things will stay settled and we can celebrate that birthday. Last year, Ronan had the anaphylaxis reaction to his chemo on Bryce’s birthday. Low bar for improvement! Jack will also, amazingly be turning 6 next month, and he is excited for his birthday party. I can’t believe my baby is so big!

As many of you know, outside of the immediate us, we’ve had some family things. We lost my grandma Rose rather suddenly. I am thankful to have been able to attend her service and spend some time with my family. We even got a quick visit in with friends on a long layover. Big thanks to my mom for coming out to stay with the boys so we could go. It was our first time being so far away since Ronan was diagnosed, and it was not without anxiety. But I’m glad we went. The world is definitely a little less bright without my grandma’s gentle, warm existence in it. Being with family to say goodbye was good for my heart. And now, I have another grandma angel to watch out for us from far, too far away. 

Please keep sending us all the healing, boring wishes and prayers ♥️ We appreciate them!