We made it home on Friday as we hoped! Ronan’s ANC jumped to over 500 and he’d been fever free, negative blood cultures, etc. This recovery time before the next round, on August 5th, has been so needed for all of us. I still can’t believe it is already August but I’m so thankful for this little taste of summer and this snippet of almost normal. I feel like there has even been whole minutes when I forgot. 

Ronan’s labs yesterday tell us that his body is geared up and ready for round 2. His body and the road map of horrible bruising is finally healing. He is stronger and needing less help to get around. He is laughing and playing and even fighting with his brother so there are moments when life feels somewhat normal. 

We fit in a perfect beach day. It was a little windy, but warm enough to make it bearable. We flew a kite. The boys played in the sand to their hearts content. We found shells. We even roasted hot dogs and made s’mores. It felt like a summer day, maybe the first day that really felt like that. It only took us until July 31st to find it. 

We had friends over today. Our kids have seen each other at least once a week since they were in utero and it had been almost 8 weeks. They played hard all day. It felt like a summer day, such a normal summer day we have had 100 times before. I found myself feeling very emotional. These almost normal moments hit a little differently. I appreciate them so much more than I could have before. They also make me sad because the “almost” feels like a photo bomber in the back of the picture. 

I’m dreading Monday. Being NPO, hospital, sedation and an LP, IV chemo, new oral chemo. I just want to freeze this day and make it last a little longer. I hate knowing we’ll be giving him things that will very likely make him feel bad again. I dread seeing him feel icky. When we got home, Ronan couldn’t get to standing from the ground without help. (The vincristine causes leg weakness.) Now, he’s independent. The other part of me is a little scared of what’s happening inside him right now as his own numbers bounce way up. Is the leukemia being produced again? It tugs at my heart and makes my stomach hurt to think about it.  I hear this fear never goes away…not even when you’ve been done with treatment for ages. It’s just a fear you have to live with. 

We’ve been so fortunate to have all the help we have from our families. My mom and Bryce’s parents finally are taking a little breather from all their helping, and have left for a bit. My dad had lucky timing, and swooped in for a visit at the perfect time. It has been fun to see him play with the boys. 

We are settling back in to our house and putting it back together after all the improvements that were made. Tucker is recovering from his little surgery and does not have metastasized cancer so that is excellent. He is despising life in the cone of shame currently but he’s also healing and I think he is glad we are home. Jack managed to scratch his cornea earlier this week, but luckily it healed up after getting some eye drops. It has been wonderful to be home! It has been so nice to cook and sleep in our own bed. Even with the boys fighting, it has felt so good to be home. We are hopeful we can be here more often in this next phase of treatment! Time will tell. 

Oh, one piece of what I think is amazing news! Ronan has learned to swallow pills! This will make everything just slightly easier for him going forward! He won’t always have to taste a yucky liquid or crushed up pill. I’m relieved for him. It’s one less barrier to getting every dose and it being less awful for him. ♥️

So much to be thankful for. So many reasons to be hopeful. Please keep thinking of our sweet boy and sending him all your love and prayers.