I didn’t realize that I didn’t share my birthday post on the site! I made a Facebook/Instagram post but forgot to share it here. So here was my post and a picture :) 

Oh my sweet Ronan ♥️ We did it! The stars aligned and you got to have your Cool Pool Birthday 🥳 You felt it too, you got emotional when we left and said you were just so happy you got to have your party 🥹 It’s been one hell of a summer baby, full of pokes and hospitals and medicine and scary moments and not getting much of our favorite summer things. I am so happy and thankful we got to celebrate your birthday the way you wanted. My heart is full tonight.♥️ Thank you to everyone who helped make it special! 

Ronan, you made me a mama 7 years ago. I spent tonight turning this way and turning that way, oxygen on and off, watching your heart rate and waiting, trying so hard to get you into the world after two long days of medical interventions. You were stubborn even then 🥹 and that stubborn, that fight, that determination is going to get you through this. You are so unbelievably tough buddy. I am so proud of who you are, and who you are growing in to. I loved you before I knew you, as you grew beneath my heart. I discovered a new kind of love that changed the fabric of who I was when you were placed into my arms. I’ve loved you every day since. We will love you through this Ronan bug 💕 Happy Birthday my little love!

Mini Update: First day of school tomorrow! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. However, his school and teacher really seem to be on top of things. He’s nervous about starting school back up, and I’m not completely sure why. He’s always been a “peace out mom” kinda kiddo about school, even his first day of pre-school! So much has happened this summer though, I can only assume it is being away, seeing his friends looking different, so many possibilities. All he could really tell me was he was nervous. We just want him to have a great few days ♥️

Me and Jack will be starting some home pre-school tomorrow too. Hoping to get them both into a little bit of a routine, as much as is possible anyway. Bryce is back to work officially tomorrow…and I’m a little nervous about that too! How do we keep up this crazy and have full schedules again? Gulp.

We ended summer with friends and a camping sleepover in the house. We never did make it camping with all the things that happened, but some very sweet friends delivered an indoor camping kit this summer. We made good use of it last night and the boys loved it. We grilled out, made real s’mores, played in the water, and when the kids finally went to sleep, we played games with friends. It was fun ♥️

I felt weirdly sad towards the end of the night though. It’s hard to say exactly why…maybe it’s that everyone else is starting back to school and it’s just normal. Life is moving forward and it’s “normal” but it isn’t normal. We are still consumed by this huge thing that feels like it affects everything in some way. We are drowning in it even when things are “normal.” Bryce saw my sadness and reminded me this isn’t forever. We’re going to get through this, all of us. Someday normal will be normal again. Sometimes a little big picture is needed too ♥️ such a wise husband. 

Cheers to a new school year and fully embracing fall now (though the temps this week may not support this.) One foot forward at a time.