Going home/ Round 1 post consolidation 

Sunday February 15, 2026 

Jake came in early this morning. Simon’s picked Trace up and took him to church. He would much rather go to church than come into the hospital.)  Jake brought in a racetrack for match box cars. (Avry would rather play with cars over a doll any day- pretty sure that has a lot to do with her brothers influence!)  Avry was so excited about it and sat on the floor and belly laughed for almost an hour! It was the best entertainment and It got her out of the bed! Win/win! 

I left for home early afternoon. I hadn’t been home in a few days and couldn’t remember where I had parked. Thank goodness for the remote horn as I followed the sound thro the parking garage! I was voice messaging Neena when I came upon the van and it all made sense why Jake insisted I took the van home instead of the jeep. I thought- what would be better that driving home in 75 degrees with the top down and let the wind clear my brain? Jake warned me he didn’t clean the jeep… but it had a whole lot more to do with the fact that he had put 12 red roses on my windshield under the wipers and stuck notes in the side of the door!! I could not  believe it… He took the time to make sure I felt seen, and loved!!  

We’ve spent more time apart than together in the past year…

We haven’t slept in the same room for over half a month this time around. We’ve been like two ships passing in the night- as I am here at the hospital with Avry and Jake  is at home overnight with Trace. I miss him soo much. I miss us. I miss who we used to be. I miss having fun with him and just being boring married people who simply love going to bed together and waking up together and having coffee together and doing all the ordinary, non cancer fighting things…

Our marriage wouldn’t survive this except that we had a rock solid foundation that was forged long  before cancer. According to our social worker, more marriages break than not after a diagnosis like this. 

I’ve felt like I’ve been pouring from an empty cup for months. Hospital life and fighting cancer has depleted me in every way possible. We both have felt this way. Like we’re both stretched so thin  and unable to give anything it’s proper attention. And yet here he is— he  still shows up and loves me and reminds me of how loved I am. He’s reminding me the true meaning of unconditional love. 

I remember the moment we told the children that 

Avry has cancer.

We have to start treatment immediately.

We had already packed up. We were supposed to go home.

Instead, we were rerouted to the oncology unit.

I had just watched my husband fall apart in a way I had never seen before.

He’s steady. He’s strong. He doesn’t shake easily.

But in that moment, the weight of it hit him — not as logistics, not as a plan — but as a father. All over again.

I felt myself switch from feeling into doing.

Shock does that. It extends your arm and says, “Move.”

We were pushing a cart stacked with our things.

Both of us had our arms full.

I saw him struggling under the weight — emotionally and physically — and I grabbed some of the bags from his arms and dropped them onto the cart.

Then I reached for his hand.

And I whispered,

“Honey…this cancer journey is going to try to break us. But we are stronger than the storm. We’re going to be tired. We’re going to be exhausted. We’re going to be frustrated. Promise me something.”

“Promise me we’ll remind each other we’re sitting on the same side of the table. We will not fight each other. We are fighting this monster. Together. No matter what.”

And that promise has been tested.

Over and over again.

There have been nights where we are so exhausted we have nothing left to give each other.

Where sleep deprivation makes everything feel sharp.

Where fear of relapse creeps in.

Where hospital life stretches on and on—

But that hallway vow — that oncology-floor covenant — has anchored us.

Cancer has tried to divide us through fatigue, through fear, through pressure.

And every single time, we come back to the table.

Same side.

Same fight.

Same team.

Because we decided that day:

This will not take our marriage down with it.

I share our story — even the messy, vulnerable, really hard parts — not because we have it all together and not because I want a spotlight.  I share because I don’t believe what happens to us is meant to stay with us. If God is allowing us to walk through something this hard, then I know He wants it to grow something — in us and in others. If we don’t learn from it, speak it, wrestle through it out loud, then the pain just sits there. My heart is simply this: if our story can steady one person, make one mom feel less alone, or remind one marriage to keep fighting, then none of this is wasted. 🤍

All I’m saying is:: 

Fight for the one you already chose.

Not in the polished, pretty way 

but in the on-your-knees, God-help-us way.

In the ugly, exhausted, real-life way. That nobody sees, expects or notices. 

Fight when life has wrung you dry.

When you’re sleeping in different places.

When you feel like strangers passing in the night.

When stress has replaced tenderness

and survival has replaced romance.

Fight when you’re pouring from empty

and they still need something from you.

When you both feel misunderstood.

When patience is thin

and love feels thinner.

Because this is where the enemy likes to whisper:

And this is where marriages quietly unravel —

not from one loud explosion,

but from a thousand small retreats.

From hardened hearts.

From keeping score.

From “you don’t get it”

and brick-by-brick walls.

But the fight was never you against them.

It’s you and them

shoulder to shoulder

against the season trying to split you.

Marriage was never meant to be sustained by feelings alone.

Feelings ebb. They exhaust. They flare and fade.

Marriage was meant to be held together by covenant —

and by a God who steps in

when you have nothing left.

There will be seasons

where you are both too tired to be the bigger person.

Where grace feels costly.

Where softness feels risky.

That’s where grace lives.

Grace that says:

“I’m still here.”

“I’m not keeping score.”

“We are turning back toward each other — not away.”

Love in hard seasons doesn’t look romantic.

It looks like kindness when you’re irritated.

Apologizing when you still feel right.

Reaching across the distance

instead of pretending you don’t care.

The strongest marriages aren’t the ones without cracks.

They’re the ones where Christ keeps filling the cracks

with mercy.

With forgiveness.

With a love that doesn’t run out.

Over and over.

And over.

So fight for the one you already chose.

Pray when you don’t have words.

Stay when it’s easier to withdraw.

Choose tenderness when your heart wants to harden.

Because God is in the rebuilding.

In the repairing.

In the turning back toward each other

again and again.

And He is faithful

to finish what He started. 🤍

Dr Mitchell is kind and quiet.  Sometimes I feel like I have to pull all the information out of him- like Burr  Rabbit  said to the dummy ‘ talk, or I’ll bop you!’ But he’s still  one of my favorites as he has the ability to read the room and respects Avry’s  bubble.    

I asked him to ‘ reverse engineer’  the No-chemo plans. And help me make it make sense in my head. Because they have drilled it into our brains we cannot stop, that we continue to blast over and over again to minimize the chance of relapse and now to just stop just feels premature. Isn’t there a half dose or something else we can do? How fast will she relapse and what’s the new higher  percentage of relapse?  I don’t want to get to the end for the year and be out of options and wish we had done more…

Monday, February 16 

We have started her feeds and are advancing every five hours. She’s lost 4.5 lbs.  she looks so tiny!  They’re hoping to send us home by evening if the vomiting stops. The diarrhea is less but they’re predicting weeks to months for it to clear as the chemo has re-inflamed what the radiation did.   

We came home tonight! Avry was so excited to come home but first needed to go out to the healing gardens to say bye to the fish and feed them Once more AND see if her hat and sunglasses that blew off the day before-had sank to the bottom or if her brother could dive in and rescue them.  They has indeed suck or removed from the pond much to her sadness.  We gathered her things and headed out the door as a family of 4! Avry had all her valentines balloons  and handed them to Jake and he made sure to put them in the vehicle where they couldn’t  escape until the side door was opened and out the back of the car and up up and away all 5 of her balloons went!! Oh what a sad, sad day! Pretty sure the entire hospital was alerted by her outburst as we all watched them disappear. ‘This is such a rough day! I lost my sunglasses, my sun hat and now my balloons!’ That is a lot of loss to a 4 year old who has lost so much independence living in a hospital with cancer. 

Home felt so good and overwhelming. 2 of the 11 meds are not meant for the NG tube and are very difficult to get into the tube without it clogging.  She’s slowly starting to eat again. She is feeling good and interactive. Her attention span still very short. Her wish is that I  sit and craft all day every day with her.   (We really miss Meg!)

Feb 19-  Thursday

We met with Dr Wells. I agreed- I saw and experienced enough to say I am on board with discontinuing chemo at this time. ‘We’re looking at a high morbidity rate if we continue chemo because it’s doing more harm than good.’  Even though it feels scary, it feels like we’re making the best decision for now. We have more peace about it than we have the past few weeks.  We know. We saw. We experienced. And without this- we couldn’t make this decision. Not saying we won’t try again in a few months after allowing her body to heal more. 

February 21, Saturday 

I woke up and immediately noticed Avrys pillow was covered in short tiny hairs. I was shocked! Most children’s hair thins but not full loss with this type

Of chemo. But it’s been almost a month since chemo- I thought if it was going to  come out it would’ve already! I didn’t say anything but slyly snapped some photos and sent them to Jake. He was also horrified. Avry has been so excited about her hair and tells everyone to feel how soft it is  and asks multiple times a day if it’s still growing!  I couldn’t tell her. So I got up and showered and prayed and cried about her hair.  It’s just hair. But also she’s been through so much already…I wasn’t out of the shower long and she hollered ‘mom there’s dog hair everywhere! My pjs are all dirty with hair.’   It was perfect. Because she noticed it first. So I sat down beside her and asked her if she remembered being bald last year? That she’s losing her hair again. She covered my mouth and got sober ‘don’t talk about it mom.’ She tried to punch me. I showed her the pillow. I took a photo of the back of her very splotchy head. She burst into tears and melted in my arms. ‘Am I never Gona have long hair like you?? I’m so sick and tired of this!’ 

Denial. Anger. Frustration. 

I offered Proof. Validation. And distraction. I convinced her to let me give her a cute hair cut and just thin the back.  

I was determined to give her a happy day  in spite of her morning so i let her brush my hair.  Then we ordered groceries and she chose a watermelon. We made her favorite pumpkin pie and we had a tea party with our matching mommy and me tea cups. It was not an easy day. We ended the day with her broviac not functioning as it should and a call to the on call Drs. They really didn’t want us to come to the ER unless it was truly an emergency for fear of exposure. And this they didn’t deem emergent. I would try to get blood return again in the morning and go from there.  What a day!

Feb 22, Sunday 

We woke up to clumps of hair everywhere. Everyone in the house felt like they were eating hair. So we stayed home from church and got out the clippers. 💔And shaved her head. It was very traumatic for everyone involved. This way she won’t have a rash on her back from itchy hair.  She doesn’t remember the first time we shaved her head when it was all falling out and what a mercy!  I cannot fathom the hard we have all had to ‘just do’ when everything in us screams NO.   I’m not sure why I assumed it was just clump

Out and wasn’t actually expecting it to rub off bald in the back where she lays. For some reason I thought saturadays loss

was all she would have- I was certainly wrong. 

We got her cleaned up after her shave and  she put on her pink princess dress. She feels so ‘ugly’

Without hair.😭💔 but a princess dress and matching headband can mend her broken heart quite well.  She is seriously the bravest human I have ever met. Braver than her mom.  It didn’t take long and she was counting rainbows (reflections from her prisms.) she is the definition of resilience.  It was a miracle that I was able to get perfect blood return with her broviac and we didn’t need to go to the hospital! Praising God for the wins!!

Tues-Sat /Feb 24-28

My parents flew down for a few days. I was hoping  we would have warm weather! It was in the 80s most of the days they were here. They were here last May and we were home from the hospital a few of the days but Avry was so sick. Too sick to do anything. We stayed in her room

On the couch the entire time. This time they got to see her run around and be Avry Jo! She was counting down the days to make valentines cut out cookies with grandma.  I don’t think she remembers them but she trusted them right away! We finished up the nurses gifts we’re giving them at the 1 year mark. Avry badly wanted to plant flowers before we go back to the hospital next week so Friday morning  we went to the greenhouse and picked out flowers. She was so excited about her red and pink geraniums 

For her flower box outside her window that Lois and Maurice made for her last year!  We had so much fun planting and watering. 

Jake was horrified I took her to the greenhouse. I have gotten very lax thinking we’re thro transplant and she’s not neutropenic.  He reminded me of the no dirt rule and how one of our friends little girl  got a wicked line infection just weeks before she was to ring the bell and the infection nearly cost her life… it was a reality check for me! So no more playing in the dirt!!  

As we head back to the hospital on Monday, March 2 for Round 7

/Round2 post consolidation- please keep us in your prayers! Sunday will be a year mark that Avry was diagnosed. March 9 makes me want to vomit. 🤮 but we’re choosing instead to talk about it instead of stuff the feelings down. We’re choosing to celebrate the miracles and the milestone! We’re choosing to turn this traumatic day into something beautiful- we’re calling it our miracle day!  Our support group has rallied around us and is helping us make it celebratory! We would love nothing more than for you to join us because without you, our prayer warriors, our encouragers, our intercessors- this year would have been much more difficult. 

Thank you for still hanging out with us here in this space and sharing in our joys and sorrows.  Thank you for the mail you have sent! We savor every piece. Thank you for the messages and email replies! Thank you for the kindness you have shown us! We are grateful for you! 

-our story for Gods glory 

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🌈🌈🌈Miracle Day🦩🦩🦩

        March 9, 2026

One year ago, Avry Jo was diagnosed.

Instead of letting this anniversary feel heavy, we are choosing to make it beautiful.

We are declaring March 9 Miracle Day - a day centered on hope, testimony, and tangible love. We invite you to:

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

1. WEAR YOUR AVRY JO SHIRT

Now is the time to wear your Avry Jo shirt. The new merch line features the family's favorite Bible verses that have carried them through this year.

Snap a photo of you and your family wearing them and send them or tag them on social on March 9. https://www.bonfire.com/store/miracles-for-avry-jo/?utm_source=native_share&utm_medium=store_page_share&utm_campaign=miracles-for-avry-jo&utm_content=default

2. FLOOD THEIR MAILBOX

Send Avry and her family mail:

• A prayer

• A word of encouragement

• What you admire about her

• How their journey has impacted you

(These letters will be saved for her to read one day as this is a lifelong battle-proof she was never fighting alone.)

Mailing Address:

160 Hackberry Lane

Bastrop TX 78602

3. Join us on Zoom!

We'll gather virtually to pray, reflect, and surround the Schapansky tamily with love and strength.

Let's transform this milestone from trauma-centered to hope-centered.

Sunday, March 8, 2026   

     2:30 PM central 

https://us06web.zoom.us/j/89754888815.


For more of a photo story: 
Go to 
https://avrystory.my.canva.site/