As we approach the end of the first week of 2024, there is much to look back over 2023 and decide what remains and what changes are necessary for the new year. 

There's a sense of relief when relooking over 2023 through the lens of a more positive mind. The early months had been spent worrying over fainting spells and falls, and yet yesterday marked my 4th month without fainting. Symptoms remain, and yet their presence lessen. The tingling sensation in my hands and feet are quieter now, the electricity jolts more spread out, and there is relief in realizing the growing distance between episodes and flares. The headaches, vomiting spells, and chest pain each take less of a hold, though sometimes they do get testy. There were good days and bad days alike, but the scales are tipping more and more in favor of the good. 

That isn't to take away from those bad days. They were present, still are, and their intensity is something to marvel at. A cold knocked me down so hard I couldn't recall how to eat, kidney stones tested me left and right, and yet those experiences feel faded. There's a difference when reflecting those bad days now.

That difference is the progress forward. During the moment, progress felt so minuscule beneath the weight of pain and confusion, and yet, here it is. Yesterday was the marker for 4 months without fainting. The longest I have ever gone, and a streak I intend to keep. 

So, what changes for this new year? What remains?

What changes is the mindset. No one can rightfully explain the level of grief you have for yourself nor the level of righteous anger  you have when your body doesn't listen. However, where there is grief, there must also be a desire for peace. The year 2023 was one of learning that grief can damage more if held onto, and 2024 marks the year of moving forward positively. One's mindset is important in recovery and realistic optimism is the key. You can acknowledge your pain and your grief, but you cannot let it guide you. 

What remains is a streak of stubbornness. A sense of determination despite the bad days for the pursuit of better ones. Every day, bit by bit, there is progress. 

2024 is the year of progress, that I am already sure.