I’ve been diagnosed with an aggressive diffuse large b-cell lymphoma, a type of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I very likely have a follicular lymphoma that has transformed into this more aggressive and very fast-moving type. I start treatment on Friday (pending several battles with the insurance company and drugs coming in on time).

The journey to a diagnosis has not been an easy one and actually started over 11.5 years ago when we still lived in Alabama. Perhaps I’ll share more about that another time in hopes of helping someone else. DLBCL usually responds favorably to treatment and may even be curable. The follicular lymphoma will likely respond favorably, as well, but it is not curable. It can be managed for many years, though. The treatment is 6 cycles over the course of 18 weeks. By the end of summer, I hope that I am starting to look and feel more “normal” and can start to move forward and make plans for the “after.” I may need some additional treatment going forward, but it should be more manageable than this initial treatment.

What can you do? Pray. For my healing, for my anxiety, for my support system, for my girls, for my medical team, for side effects to be managed, for no infections, for the battles with insurance and doctor’s offices and pharmacies not to add to our stress. Pray in all the ways that you can think of. I’m counting on those prayers to carry me through. Also, if you are in a position to do so, please support my support system (Sean, my parents, my in-laws). I am leaning heavily on them right now, so if you can give them grace, take something off of their plate, send them a meal, please do so. I can’t help them right now, but they need help, too.

My anxiety about the treatment and side effects is very high. I am also feeling sad and mad and scared and all of the things that you’d expect. But I do feel confident that the treatment will be effective. I am so grateful for so many things in this process. I am so glad that this didn’t happen before or during my pregnancies. I had that fear for many years. I am thankful that, as of right now, I don’t need any radiation or surgeries. I am so glad to have a great support system and friends who care. I’m so thankful for a job that is flexible and with an organization comprised of truly compassionate people. I’m blessed with a church family that grants me and Sean grace and offers to help in many ways. I’m thankful for a faith that truly is “firm and certain knowledge of God’s benevolence for us, founded upon the truth of the freely given promise in Christ, both revealed to our minds and sealed upon our hearts by the Holy Spirit” (thanks, John Calvin - and Dr. Na for making me memorize that 20 years ago). And for a loving God in whom all things hold together, even when they appear to me to be falling apart.

More later. Thanks, friends.