I am happy to say that I had great appointments on Thursday. My oncologist was very pleased with the scan. All four of the lymph nodes have shrunk between 50-80%. Three of the four are very close to or within the normal range of size for abdominal lymph nodes, and the fourth (which was the largest) is slightly enlarged but still very reduced in size. All of this points to a clear path for a complete response!

My doctor was also supportive of further reducing the one chemo drug that is giving me problems. (He said that it's the least crucial drug of the five anyway.) I am hoping that this helps with some of the side effects. He also said that I could consider tapering the steroids instead of stopping abruptly, so I will think about that. My labs showed some slight anemia, but otherwise looked good. All of this was very encouraging. Now I just have to get through the next three treatments. I will have a repeat PET scan in September and then will continue follow up appointments. We discussed the possibility of a personalized plan going forward.

He also clarified a few things for me. He feels that my cancer is a stage 2, though he said that since it was so large, that kind of puts it into stage 3 territory, even though it doesn't meet the technical requirements for stage 3. He doesn't believe that it was stage 4. He also strongly believes that this was a follicular lymphoma that transformed into DLBCL. That unfortunately means that I'm going to be dealing with this forever at some level. While I know that I can go many years without issue (I already did go many years without issue), this is obviously not ideal. I know that I will panic anytime I feel anything that might be "off."

I think that's the hard part about cancer. I've met some people who had cancer years ago and haven't had any issues since. I also have a friend who got news that she was in remission and then found out a few days later that it was not the case. That feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop is not a good one. I don't want cancer to steal my joy or my ability to be in the present. I'm going to have to work on that and really put my trust in the Lord. I'm also going to pray that they find a way to cure follicular lymphoma!

I have yet to share my diagnosis story, but I will. It might help someone else. While I am at some level frustrated that I didn't get a confirmed diagnosis of follicular lymphoma earlier, a) I don't think that it would've changed anything in the long run, and b) I suspect that it would have made me incredibly anxious and possibly even have scared me off from trying to have children. I do think that the Lord's hand was all over this story.

For today, I'm thanking the Lord for his mercies, which are new every morning. He's leading me through these waters, and he'll lead me through all of the waters to come.

P.S. Hannah is feeling a bit better from her cold, and the rest of us have either missed it completely or have had very mild symptoms. We're hoping for a good few days (including warm weather!) before I have to go again for #4.