Monica turned 30 on Saturday. How can my baby girl be that old? It was just yesterday I was that age. She is doing so good right now. I am very proud of the work she is putting into getting better mentally. I have had a harder week after treatment this time.  Usually by now I am feeling more and more back to "me" but this time it is taking longer.   I noticed my mouth is sore, irritated, and swallowing non soft foods kind of hurts. I will have to let the dr know about this. I have already let my care team know that I do not want my infusions to be 30 minutes it is way too hard on my body. We are trying 60 minutes next treatment.  I hate when I will be feeling good and all of a sudden I get a nasty wave of nausea that I have to eat and take my medication. The medication has a tendency to make me so tired I need to take a nap.  Remember I mentioned meeting an amazing warrior that dealt with 5 different cancers? She is in the hospital on hospice right now. Hospice doesn't mean the end. Please say a prayer for Vera. She has been through so much and it gave me hope. I am still hopeful but I have to be honest, it is making me anxious.  I had my scans done March 3 and things are stable and there is bone lesion healing. The mass in my lymph node that shrunk last time has grown but I'm not worried about it. I talked to my Aunt Betsy the other day. It always feels so good to hear her voice. It makes me feel like I am still connected to my mom's side of the family. I don't talk to many and it makes me sad.   I don't want to be a downer so I'm going to get off of here. I am not in a good place. Please know I love you all!